Relationships 101: What are 10 traits that will make you an ideal girlfriend?

September 15, 8:22 AMLA Singles ExaminerNiki Payne

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It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand what men are looking for in a girlfriend. While jaded women typically believe that all men just want sex, there are still men out there who are actually seeking out a relationship. If you're dating someone and want to stay in the game, these 10 traits will definitely work to your advantage:

10. Independence. If your boyfriend brings you to a social gathering as his date, you need to be able to stand on your own two feet – with or without him. He’ll love you so much more if he doesn’t have to worry about babysitting you every time you go out. 

9. Intelligence. If you really want to keep a man on his toes, forget the ditzy routine and get yourself a brain (that is, if you don’t have one already). Men like smart women. It keeps things interesting and far from boring when a woman is constantly surprising a man with her wit and intellect.

8. Sexuality. To be a good girlfriend, you have to be sexually compatible with your partner and be on the same page when it comes to sex. They key here is having the ability to communicate with your partner, verbally or with physical cues, what your needs and desires are and how to meet them in the bedroom. The best way to do this is to ask for direction and follow them… well. Extremely well.

7. Beauty. This one is kind of a no-brainer. A good girlfriend will always want to look good, not just for her boyfriend, but also for herself. You should always look your best whenever you can, especially when making appearances where your boyfriend’s friends will be. What guy doesn’t want a trophy girlfriend hanging on his arm? Men are visual creatures so they need to enjoy the sight of you – all of you. (And matching lingerie never hurts either, ladies).

6. Respect. This is definitely an important one. Men value women who respect them, their interests and their opinions. If you want to be a good girlfriend, then treat your man like a Prince and don’t ever cause a scene in public or in front of his family or friends. That is an ultimate no-no. If there is a dispute, be diplomatic about it and discuss matters in private. He’ll appreciate you so much more for your tact.

5. Letting him be a man. It is your womanly duty to make your man feel manly. Allow him to be chivalrous. (Yes, ladies, chivalrous men do still exist). Cook him dinner. Rub his back. Complement him on how good he is at his manly things. Hell, tell him his penis is huge. Just don’t ever strip a man of his manliness by depriving him of his manly activities. If he wants to play video games, let him be. Bring him a snack or a brewsky, post yourself up right next to him and read the latest Cosmo. You do your womanly thing, while you let him do his manly thing. 

4. Nagless. No one likes a nagger. Choose your battles wisely. If you don’t, you might end up losing a great guy over something stupid and miniscule. Know when to speak your mind and when to let things go. Always ask yourself, “Am I willing to lose my boyfriend over this?” I’m betting the answer to that might be a no, unless there are some special circumstances involved.

3. Getting along with his family and friends. A good girlfriend makes an effort to connect with those closest to her boyfriend. When this connection is forged, you become more empathetic towards your boyfriend when he spends time with them.

2. Love and acceptance. A good girlfriend will love her boyfriend just the way he is, flaws and all, and will never try to change him into someone that he’s not. If you are unable to accept that you can’t change a man, then you have no business being a girlfriend. A woman who demeans and belittles her boyfriend in hopes that he’ll change is really a woman projecting her own insecurities onto another person. No man wants that. Instead, he wants a woman who cares. You can show him your care just by the way you look at him, the way you touch him or the way you treat him on a daily basis. Actions speak louder than words. 

1. Making him want to be a better man. In truly compatible relationships, each person inspires the other to be better a person. This is done without words, or without actions. You might have a quality that he admires very much in you that inspires him to be a better person. At the same time, he might have a quality that you admire just as much that inspires you to be a better you. Through research, I've learned that most people's idea of compatibility is to balance each other out by strengthening each other's weaknesses with their own strengths.

If you focus on these 10 traits, men will eventually line up to be with you. Fear not, if you are going through a slump. The sun always shines after the rain, so stay focused because all of these traits don't just make you a good girlfriend, they make you a better person overall. And a good guy always wants a good girl.