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Scheming Schoolgirl Succubi Steal Sperm! Story at 11!
 Kahn, 1895 I'm sure you've all heard the story: A rash of teen pregnancies breaks out in a small town, and the principal of the school in question tells a credulous Time reporter that the pregnancies are the result of a pact among the expectant moms, who all agreed to get knocked up together. You may not have heard that the entire story is roughly ninety-five percent fantasy (I'll allow a five percent rate of reality due to the fact that there does, in fact, seem to be a larger number of teen pregnancies in said school this year than usual). The principal is sort of walking back his comments -- he never said that, he was misquoted, and anyway, his source is (not kidding) hallway buzz so it must be true. He also cites the former nurse practitioner at the school, who denies having said such a thing. His story was not helped when one of the girls involved went on national TV to tell the real story, which is that several of the expectant mothers agreed to support each other through pregnancy and childrearing in order to help everyone make it to graduation. A stay-in-school self-help group is markedly less sexy than conniving girls gone wild, though, so I imagine that, much like the Cadillac-driving, diamond-wearing welfare queen of Ronald Reagan's fervid imagination, this story will be with us for some time. At the moment, it's making the internet and news rounds, with the Pregnancy Club being blamed on (in descending order, so far as I can tell) the movie Juno, school making it too easy to be a student and a mom, and readily-available contraceptives. There are, of course, enough absurdities in that last bit to make up several posts, but what interests me most about this whole story and the way it's been discussed is this: What's missing from this picture? One entire half of the equation, maybe? I mean, I know they aren't allowed to teach sex ed in schools anymore, but we still all know that pregnancy requires both a female and a male of the same species, right? And yet, aside from one passive-voiced, throw-away comment about a "twenty-four-year-old homeless guy," there is no mention at all of any of the fathers of these babies. So, what -- this one guy was just innocently sleeping under his highway overpass when a group of girls stole his sperm in their wicked scheme to impregnate themselves? Or something? Look, couples start pregnancies every day. Sometimes on purpose, sometimes because birth control failed, sometimes because they were careless . . . the list is endless. Reproduction is something that we give huge amounts of intellectual thought to and act on from our deepest reptilian subconsciousness, and I don't think it's much different on that level when you're fifteen than when you're thirty. Of course we as a society should talk about when and why teens have babies; we just need to not leave half of all teens involved out of our calculations. Unless you believe, as it appears that much of the public does, that teen girls have discovered the secret of hominid parthogenisis. And as any single mom who realizes too late that a cute, couch-surfing, twenty-something guy isn't nearly as cool once you're tied to him for eighteen years can tell you, it's just not that simple.
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Elisa Wiebe
Elisa has lived in Denver for seven years, and has upwards of five children in her care. She is always looking for something new to do with them.
Elisa has lived in Denver for seven years, and has upwards of five children in her care. She is always looking for something new to do with them.
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