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Is your child a natural sharer?
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My little man in action
The other night, my son had his last baseball game of the season. It was the championship game and his team won. Of course, he was excited to win, but what my son did next made my prouder than anything he did throughout the season. Immediately after the trophies were handed out, he raced over to the dugout and grabbed a bag full of candy. He then passed out his candy to anyone and everyone around the field. This idea was all his and he used the candy he got from trick-or-treating. Despite having just received the trophies, he was more excited to pass out his candy.
Ryan has always been a naturally charitable child and watching him take so much pleasure from passing out his candy got me wondering. Where does this generosity come from? His older sister, as sweet and caring as she is, is not a natural sharer, and, if I am to be perfectly honest with myself, neither am I. Of course, no child begins life wanting to share, but somewhere along the way Ryan became generous. As an adult, I share because I know it is the right thing to do and I want to model the correct behavior for my children. But deep down, I am cringing. My natural instinct is to hoard and save, and these traits do not create the best sharers. I am the type that gives the old cans of food in the back of my pantry that I know we will never use, or I give of my “time” because that means I do not have to part with my money. My daughter shares with her brother and sister because we make her, and the jury is still out yet on Amanda. Either she is too young yet to determine her natural inclination, or she is taking the same path as her sister and me.
So, how is it that Ryan shares so easily and willingly? Without a doubt, he gets the generosity trait from my husband. My husband has always been one of the most generous people I know. In fact, we once got into a huge argument over how we would spend our theoretical lottery winnings because I felt he was just going to give it all away. But, despite our differences, I do not think his parents raised him any differently from my parents, nor have we made only Ryan share and allowed Meghan to get whatever she wants.
So, again, why do some people share more easily than others? I tried to “google” this, but obviously, there were no relative responses. However, I did find these tips that you can use to encourage your school-age child to share more naturally. Hopefully, through time and repetitive use, the value and importance of sharing can be instilled in your children, if they also did not happen to catch the generosity train.
1. Tell your child that when someone asks to use your things, you can't simply say, "no." They do not have say, "yes,” but if they decide not to share, they have to either give a reason or suggest an alternative (“That's my very favorite, but you can play with any of these.”).
2. When it comes to sharing sweets or lots of little toys (think legos) teach your child to use the “one for you, one for me” method.
3. Sponsor a child. Seeing how poor some of the children are in this world would certainly help your child appreciate everything he/she has.
4. Talk to your child how sharing is an act of kindness. Sharing is Caring!
5. If you give your child an allowance, have him/her take out a small percentage each week to give to a charity of their choice.
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