Utah Utes football: The current kicking situation tells fans they’re in for a long season

September 15, 12:27 PMUtah Sports ExaminerBrian Shaw

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And I hope that the cameras don't come in too close
'Cause they might see the tears in my eyes
As I sit on this bench made of cold-hearted wood
And the splinters go deep in my thighs
And the towel boy snickers as he walks by
- Adam Sandler, “The Lonesome Kicker”

Watching Utah senior kicker Ben Vroman botch three field goal attempts against San Jose State on Saturday probably had fans yearning for the days of Louie Sakoda, when the kick was good before Sakoda even attempted it.

OK, that’s stretching the truth a tad, but the point is spot-on: not having Sakoda kicking for the Utes this season--because he’s out of eligibility, unfortunately--nearly cost Utah against a less than impressive San Jose State team on Saturday and it may cost them dearly somewhere down the line, say this week at Oregon.

Vroman, a senior, is a master when it comes to his kickoffs, but his wicked slice on the field goal tries reminded me of the Al Czervik character played by the late comic great Rodney Dangerfield in the movie “Caddyshack.”
Czervik’s slices needed computer wizardry and a gigantic remote controlled device to help with the trajectory and frankly, so did Vroman’s.

About the only thing Vroman’s kicks didn’t do were veer left or right at about the 30 on the two 50-yard field goal attempts he had. No, the kicks waited until they were headed toward the uprights before they took a wicked turn left and right toward the coffin corner. As Czervik once said, "So what? So, let's dance!"

And the only kind of dancing the Utes are gonna do if Vroman doesn't enlist the aid of a hypnotherapist or perform a seance is the Las Vegas Bowl, which is fine and good for most teams except Utah.

And Vroman's slice may work well for punts, but not field goal attempts.
If it weren’t for Ute walk-on Joe Phillips nailing a 25-yard field goal with 13 seconds remaining not only would the San Jose State towel boy be laughing, the very goalposts that caused Vroman so much grief this day would be vibrating too.

Also, had Vroman stayed in the game with that wicked slice of his, the hapless Utes would have defeated San Jose State by one measly touchdown. Yes, this is the same Spartans team that had their butts handed to them by USC the week before.

Now comes the news that yet another controversy, this time in the kicking game, has surfaced, as both Vroman and Phillips will be in a battle all week at “practice”, according to head coach Kyle Whittingham, despite the fact Vroman had about as much luck hitting field goals as Czervik did hitting a hole-in-one on the links in "Caddyshack."

So let the lonesome battle begin, two weeks into a season that isn’t looking as promising as last year for Utah kickers, or for the Utes.