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Cruising from Florida: Skip MSC Cruises
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This orchestra was out of tune
Having never sailed on an MSC ship I decided to take a two night ride on the MSC Orchestra. I didn’t know a whole lot about MSC besides the basic training we get as Travel Agents. When I thought of MSC I did have several thoughts that came to mind through the experiences of others. Maybe we should call those pre-conceived notions. They were
- MSC is the largest container shipping company in the world
- I had heard on multiple occasions “There are lots of pushy Italians and other Europeans”
- I had also heard that “the food is fabulous, absolutely fabulous” from some and awful from others
- Any dealings I had had with MSC over the phone or through email indicated a class in phone skills and email etiquette would be a good idea
So I wanted to find out which of these notions were accurate, which were not and get a good feel for the ship and the cruise line in action. I have been fortunate (or not) enough to sail 43 times with 9 different lines and always been able to get a good feel for a ship or line with one small voyage.
This two-day sailing from Port Everglades in Fort Lauderdale to Nassau, Bahamas and back should compare well. I had done many 2 or 3 night introduction cruises before and knew the drill.
I would not get the same “feel” as I would doing a 7 day or longer cruise
I had to cover a lot of ground really fast to collect the information and documentation I needed to make a accurate report
With that in mind we chose to arrive at the pier at 1PM, two and a half hours later than we would normally have done. Going early is always the smart way to go. Much like flying in to the departure port a day early as insurance against a delayed flight, arriving at the port so you can be at the front of the line almost always benefits by getting you on board well ahead of the crowd that will come later.
In this case coming early would have been a really good idea. But I had not come at 1PM since our first cruise. As a result we never stand in a very big line because it is behind us.
When we arrived to part at Port Everglades we could have had a really bad time finding a parking space but we got lucky and found a place right away. Approaching the terminal we saw a little line so I was not concerned and thought this was not a bad idea
It was only after we turned the corner and found what would be a line about three football fields long. With no apparent direction the line had formed a sort of serpentine shape, wrapping around Pier 4 then bunching up. No problem though I thought, these cruise lines really move the lines pretty quickly. I estimated the wait time to be about an hour, 45 minutes if we were lucky.
That bright side 45 minute to an hour estimated quickly stretched into an hour, then two hours then three hours then 4 hours until it started moving. But lines are lines and even in the most capable hands like the king of lines, Walt Disney who, from the grave, keeps things moving right along at the parks every day of the year.
I have a pretty good idea of how long it takes to move a bunch of people too from quoting wait times to people in a number of busy restaurants decades ago. Something was really wrong here.
The problem here was not that they had a big line but that we were kept in the dark about what was going on. I have experienced catastrophic delays on other lines and seen everything from a cruise line rep telling us and updating us on what was wrong then reassuring us that they were doing all they could to get us on as soon as possible to cruise line reps setting up a buffet and offering complementary beverages. Either was always accompanied by a good dose of really sincere apology.
This time we had no information so the crowd mentality starts to take over, members agree to hold the place in line for some elderly people that they can go to one of the few benches to sit down and occasional chants run through the group. Next time I am going to add “Start doing the wave and other wacky group games if line is dead for hours” to my to-do list.
It should have been a good sign that this was not going to end well when the vending trucks you might see by the crew entrance, well out of the way of the embarkation activities are coming within service distance of the crowd. We were going to be a while. Ok yeah it would have been nice for someone to tell us what the problem is or provide some food and beverages. Heck, we would have all been up at the buffet with that initial gorge of our gaping maws anyway. But the line started moving after about four hours. When it did it seemed to go rather quickly, at a pace one would expect for a group so large. Once inside the terminal we were placed in a rope line that went back and forth 23 times; about 75 feet each time. (That equals 1725 feet)
This line was not unanticipated.
Why would they intentionally be planning on having so many people in this queue? What an unpleasant first impression.
But it got worse. After that initial queue we were went into another area where there were five queue’s 300 feet long each. (Another 1500 feet) Let’s do the math; that’s a total of over 3000 feet of line. They were planning on it being a long wait.
Lucky for us we had filled out the online advance check-in and it looked like 90% of the other guests had not. We were put in a much shorter “Express” queue which also doubled as the World Club past guest entrance. I don’t think I have ever been so happy to have done that. On other lines it has almost become unnecessary.
In the beginning of the boarding card craze, it was like going through the express line at the grocery store, there was a line but it moved along way quicker than if you were behind three or four people with full carts. Carnival (who started it); Princess, Celebrity and Royal Caribbean have gotten so good at it though that they rarely set up a rope queue at all.
Finally when we got to the check in station we were told that it was a computer problem causing the delay. They had been down for several hours.
(Can you say “reboot” and see what happens?”)
At this point things were going about as anticipated except that the check in rep told us we would have to stop by the purser’s desk to present our credit card to guarantee onboard purchase. By chance I noticed that the rep next to this one was swiping cards and gathering authorization signatures just fine. When I brought it to her attention she conferred with one of the ships officers and after a lengthy discussion agreed to do ours. Good, the thought of 2300 people more at the purser’s desk in the next 24 hours could have really been a mess. The crowd pretty much universally agreed that they had robbed us of a good part of this short cruise and that needed to be the end of that.
I wanted to thank that officer for saving me from that and waved to get his attention. That was when I first saw it
The MSC Stare
Most cruises are identified with a theme or have established a 2, 3 or 4 word slogan that fits. Carnival has “The Fun Ships” and I think of wildly happy crew members. Princess has “Escape Completely” and their happy crew members while a lot less wild, make pleasant eye contact and say hello when you pass them in the halls. Celebrity has “Starring You” which while I have never seen an actual celebrity on one of their ships; they are masters at creating a great feel on board. Royal Caribbean for years challenged us to “Get Out There”
All of those and others seemed genuinely happy to see us and honestly wanted us to have a good time. I had grown accustomed to that. This mean, unemotional, detached look this officer gave me was scary. But being optimistic I hoped that this was just a junior officer who should probably be working down in the torpedo room rather in a guest contact area.
So very unfortunately this would not be the last time I saw it. I never once saw an officer laugh or seem at all happy except when talking with other officers in their native language.
This attitude would turn out to be the reason for many unpleasant experiences aboard the ship. I have seen this before in other businesses and it always ends in the business going broke. There are just too many competitors to not have your best job on display all the time. That is where it starts. When the management is lacking in customer service in major ways, many of the negatives I had about this ship, the crew and the cruise line happen and turn off customers.
Here then are specifics on what was experienced while on board the MSC Orchestra. I picked areas to evaluate that either struck me as really different than other lines or simply easy to compare along with a grade.
Embarkation
Grade: F
The F is for the poor job they did communicating with the waiting crowd. Handled properly they could have minimized the fueling effect it had on growing negative attitudes. The thing about those is that once they start and get in most peoples heads, they taint other experience onboard which might not have been as good as they could have been but would have been tolerated.
The passengers would have been upset but with the strong knowledge that the cruise line would stand behind their decisions and actions. They would make it right. The level of commitment to that universal business model simply was not there with the management of this event and the ship. That’s two different departments; shore operations and ship operations. They both failed. Would the ships maintenance department fail as well; the ones that shovel the wood into the burners that make the ship move?
So far no but if we had to drive one of the lifeboats home we had done this route so many times that we could probably do it.
Cabins
Grade: B
These were nice, new cabins with a unique feature. In order to keep the lights on in your cabin you had to put your card into a reader by the front door. When you were out of the cabin the lights went off which they had to do because you had to take your key to get back in.
I think that is a fabulous way for them to save energy and in turn save money that does not inconvenience the guest. Good Job there. That also triggered a light in the hallway that the stewards could see (I guess with their heightened awareness training because I sure never saw it) that indicated if you were or were not in the cabin. No more barging in as someone stand in the hallway drying off after a shower since the bathroom is too small for we fluffy people.
I give them a C as average because they were pretty much the standard cabin you might find on any cruise ship.
Cabin Steward
Grade: B
I would later find out that each steward had 24 cabins to clean twice each day. That would explain never seeing ours. No time for small talk, special requests, complaints or compliments. There was much to complement for too. They did a really good job every time they did their run through the cabin.
Embarkation Buffet
Grade: F
Ok let’s try to keep count. So far we had no contact while waiting, passed by some contract security people with the stern but expected demeanor like the TSA at airports and gotten our first MSC Stare. Not looking really good at Creating a Good First Impression 101. They had to have cheated horribly on the final to pass. Hmm, maybe they dropped out?
This was going to be the first time we had the opportunity to try the legendary great food. I was excited because I used to have some very dear friends as a young boy who was really Italian and those people really knew great food. I couldn’t wait to try the Fettuccini Alfredo to see if it was as good as the wonderful product they served on Princess. I make a pretty darn good meatball when I put my mind to it so I was really looking forward to that too. We knew there was no way to enter points in our Weight Watchers thing so we were totally off diet to the point that I really wanted to see what their idea of authentic Italian Pizza was.
The food was simply awful.
I wondered if it was that it was ready 4 hours ago and since people were not boarding it just lost its luster. No, there was no luster on these products ever. I had a former career when I was much younger in the restaurant business. One of the things I did was manage a large volume cafeteria in Kansas City. We served 4 or 5000 people a day on two straight line cafeterias. That was their first problem.
I wonder if the people that designed this ship had ever been on a cruise on any other line. If they had they would have discovered the latest common design, the revival of the “scatter” line cafeteria with stations that one can go back and forth too. With a straight line cafeteria everyone has to pass by everything. That’s great if you are selling the ala carte. You can use strategic product positioning to put the high dollar or high profit products within easy reach.
But they were not selling these products; they were included in the price. The obvious name of the game is to get them through as quickly and efficiently as possible
With the scatter style cafeteria, guests can simply walk by the station that does not have anything they want rather than waiting in line (again and not a popular activity with this bunch) They move through quickly and are at the table enjoying your food with the minimum travel time and eating the food as you wished it to be.
But that was just the tip of the iceberg. The meatballs were lousy and cold, the pizza was burnt and sort of like the “pizza” I made as a kid with Hungry Jack biscuits, pizza sauce and cheese. Mine was better.
What looked like it could be a flavorful dish was bland and cold or warm depending on what it shouldn’t be. You would think Spicy Cantonese Rice would be a real taste sensation. No, very much like
Green Giant Steam In The Microwave-safe Bag quality, only cold.
While seated and eating we saw a lady approach a manager. She was just furious. It seems that over an hour ago, she had given her card to one of the servers to go get her a Diet Coke and they had never returned. After getting the MSC Stare while explaining her problem the manager told her to go the Pursers desk and get a new one. Stupid me, I was thinking they might want to find that server, get the card back and get this lady her Diet Coke. No, she was sent packing without her Diet Coke (well they couldn’t get her one now anyway: she had no card!)
Probably just as well, they serve Pepsi Light anyway. Those were cool though, they had a foil cover over the part where you pull the tab and apply your lips. (I had lowered the bar for all things dazzling
I gave up on trying keeping up the counting thing after this.
Breakfast Buffet
Grade: F
Let’s just finish off the buffet area with this report about breakfast.
By this time it had become painfully obvious that these people had chosen to work with the bare minimum crew on hand to take care of business. They are cheapskates.
It’s a classic pattern.
We don’t have enough guests sailing
We lower the price
We have more guests sailing but uh oh; we are not making as much money on them
We cut back on the labor and put out as much low cost food as possible
The breakfast buffet was one of the best examples of this I had seen and here is why
No omelet station. Thank god, the line would have moved even slower. I had chosen to go up for breakfast really early so there was no line. At 10:00 the line went out of the door of the cafeteria and far out on to the pool deck, on both sides.
Bacon from last week. This was more old, crumbled and nasty than any I had ever seen in public. This had reached the point where it could have been used as an ingredient or seasoning but that’s about it.
They messed up the canned baked beans. Ok this is an odd English thing that seems to be on a lot of cruise ships. I can see the allure of them as they are really cheap. But the master chefs of MSC had watered them down. I guess they thought they would go farther and feed more people.
While they did not have an omelet station they did have “plain omelets” pre-made and ready to be picked up. I fail to see the difference between a plain omelet and scrambled eggs (they had those too). I kept looking for an eclectic array of creative toppings maybe thinking it was a “make your own omelets” idea that was just not well thought out. The closest thing I could find to a topping was the scrambled eggs sitting next to them. Later on about 20 feet down the line were some cold, canned “sautéed” mushrooms.
The coffee station was manned by a crew member who was pouring the coffee for the guests. I sat right next to this area and watched. As the guests arrived the line grew long at the coffee station (OK “line” is officially a bad four letter word at this point) The reason for the hold up is that the crew member had a little shield for each guest explaining that they had “strong” and “weak” coffee and they had to choose one. He went on to give his personal recommendation (oooh! Step back Emeril Bam!) for the strong coffee but watered down. Most agreed to the strong but watered down. This could have been an American thing though with the Americans always choosing strong over weak to this crew member struggling (unbelievably) hard to communicate. The guests were having trouble with his recommendation though and it took a while for them to inevitably pick his recommendation and that really slowed down the line. The other problem was people who understood him to mean that the strong was regular and the weak was decaf. When specifically asked if they had decaf he said “I don’t know, maybe at the other station”
Double shot glasses for water. I forgot to mention that I had heard that they were charging for water in the dining room on the last cruise without the option for complementary tap water. Horrible idea for the American market, glad they did not do it. But these glasses were about as big as two shot glasses. I assumed it was to prevent waste of the complementary frozen concentrate Juicy Juice dispenser liquids. Understandable and acceptable for “high cost?” juice-like substance but where were the glasses for the low cost tap water?
The crew member with the refill cart. There was one for both dining rooms. I watched as she went a certain distance with one cart, stopped when she was empty, went back and filled up on some other ship in a different ocean then came back and traveled the same route. She appeared to be stopped along the way by about half of those she had served on the previous run then continued on down the road. I think the ones at the end of the other dining room have probably become dehydrated and soiled themselves waiting for her to get there. They couldn’t leave or they would get nothing and they didn’t want to miss her
Casino
Grade A++ and F
This one gets two grades. An A++ because I won two big jackpots on the slots, an F because I waited 45 minutes for the one crew member working the whole casino other than dealers at gaming tables to pay out the excessive sum.
There’s something about winning big in the casino that makes other things ok. I had seriously forgotten about the embarkation fiasco and school cafeteria operation.
Safety Drill
Grade A++ and F
This one also gets two grades. The A++ because they cancelled it on the first day, rescheduled it the second day and checked to see if everyone was in attendance by knocking two times on the door and going away.
The F because in reality I should have been concerned about this gang actually finding and hitting an iceberg, sinking the ship. Again though as previously mentioned, I was pretty sure I could get a lifeboat back to Florida from here. I would also not have had a line for getting on my lifeboat, would have the chef there serving delights and free drinks for all.
Driving the Ship
Grade C
This is usually an area not even mentioned as the ships crew that does the actual maneuvering of the ship are so good at it. Just watching them move the ship into or out of port is amazing to me.
Imagine my surprise and fear when we were stopped dead in the water outside of Nassau while the other ships caught up and passed us.
Ships Shops
Grade B
Pretty much the typical assortment of jewelry, cologne, clothes, and logo items (probably not a lot of folks on this one wanting a memento to remember this) and booze/cigarettes. I took off because of the limited selection in the shops and the attitude of the people in the booze shop. They were really mad that people wanted to buy booze.
The more booze they bought the more intense their MSC Stare was. I wanted 8 bottles of booze and you would have thought I had asked them to swim to shore to fetch me some snacks.
Those are a whole lot of negative leading to a recommendation to not sail this line. At least until I get reports that things have improved dramatically.
But there are positives too which I saved for last. I have always been of the mind that there is no such thing as a bad cruise. This one put that notion to test like no other. History will prove this one to be the standard for bad cruises. Still, we had a good time because there are things that even MSC could not screw up. One was the view from our balcony while the ship is moving through the ocean. Another was finding a nice lounge to have a drink before dinner. Sure, we needed one before facing the uncertainty of what might be coming, but they have several nice, quiet, and comfortable lounges. For the most part they run a pretty good operation too with plenty of crew members around. Well except for the casino. That one girl working the whole casino for drinks was just sad to see.
Value was a big underlying problem on this ship. Since they were such cheapskates we paid for most everything beyond the basics. Ice cream was never complementary as it is on all other cruise lines at one time or another (or all day on Carnival). I ordered two tall Bloody Marys this morning in tall glasses. That was $27.50 which I thought was a crazy high price.
I already mentioned the cabin stewards and for the most part the rest of the hotel department with the exception of food service was right on top of things.
Would I do this again? Probably not (never say never, Mom always used to say)
Will I recommend this line to anyone? Probably not (again, Mom's words ring clearly)
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