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Dating games men play: the poor dating choices silly women make (final)

November 3, 5:34 PMSF Dating Advice ExaminerDeborrah Cooper
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fighting, love, rellationships, dating, players, playas, why do men cheat, why do men lie, sex games, abusive dating relationships
At some point every women gets fed up

In this, the fifth and final segment of the poor dating choices women make, I'll cover some of the games unscrupulous men play with women's self-esteem and how women set themselves up to be played.

Read Part 1 here
Read Part 2 here
Read Part 3 here
Read Part 4 here

Running the ‘You Ain’t All That’ Game
Your man, who was so complimentary at first, suddenly starts finding everything wrong with you. He may remind you how good he looks while criticizing your hair, your clothes, your job, your weight, your figure, your age, how you have sex, the furniture you've selected, your cooking - even the manner in which you speak or pronounce words.

When you complain about his harsh criticisms or express hurt that he doesn't appreciate you, he just about yawns in your face with boredom and tells you it’s for your own good - he’s just "trying to help." You are teased and taunted, battered and beaten verbally by the same person that complimented you and made you feel so good only a few short months before.

At this point your self-esteem and confidence plummet as you try ever harder to please this person with special treats, gifts, trips, affection or sex. This mistake here is that you made him so important to your self-image that he now has the power to make or break you, so he beats you over the head with words just because he can.

Sometimes the verbal and mental abuse escalates into physical violence. Ladies, you must never allow another person to define who you are… never! You have to love and value yourself more than you EVER love or value a man.

Women Encourage Men to Play Games
Could low self esteem be the reason so many women allow themselves to be gamed on - sometimes over and over again by the same person? Could a poor self-image be the reason that women rationalize, justify, and excuse mistreatment while hanging onto a man no matter what the price to their mind and heart?

I think so.

Many women have told me they feel they can’t do any better – "who else would want me?" they say sadly. Others have expressed a sense of panic at the thought that they would be without a man, proclaiming that she will "do anything so I won't lose him."

Instead of facing the aloneness they would rather desperately hold onto him until the bitter end when the player finally gets bored, says “I'm through - it’s over” and walks out the door.

Other women have established a negative pattern where they involve themselves repeatedly with the same TYPE of person in a different body, so they repeatedly get to cry DOG or GOLD DIGGERS, ALL OF EM! and play victim.

If you want to find real and true love, you have to value yourself and the love, sex and joy you have to offer to a man. Stop playing yourself cheap! Saving yourself from player games can begin only when you are real with both yourself and your partner.

Know who you are, what you want, and what you believe in. Don't go for the fluff, don’t compromise your values, and never give up the booty for stupid reasons, believing it will make a man want you or stay with you.

We all know that folks will tell you whatever they think you want to hear - say whatever you will believe - and do whatever they can get away with! It’s human nature to challenge and play games and test boundaries. The reality is that no matter what you do or who you are, you will always be faced with game players in one way or another.

The best way to stop a game from being run is to stop being naïve and overly trusting of what men SAY, instead watching what men DO. A man's actions always tell you everything you need to know about who and what he really is.


 

For more info:  Submit your dating advice question to Deborrah by using the Submit Your Advice Question link at right.  Register for a subscription to get notice in your mailbox when the site has been updated with new articles, and your advice question posted!

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