Why dogs are better than men and women

January 2, 11:32 AMPhoenix Dogs ExaminerDan Olsen

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Reasons why dogs are better than women:

• A dog loves you when you leave your clothes on the floor.
• Dogs don't cry.
• Dogs never need to examine the relationship.
• Dogs would rather have you buy them a hamburger dinner than a lobster one.
• A dog's parents will never visit you.
• Dogs think you sing great.
• Dogs understand that flatulence is funny.
• The later you are, the happier a dog is to see you.
• A dog limits its time in the bathroom to a quick drink.
• Dogs love it when your friends come over.
• Dogs can appreciate excessive body hair.
• Dogs don’t nag.
• You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
• Dogs aren’t catty.
• A dog never expects you to telephone.

Reasons why dogs are better than men:

• You can train a dog.
• Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger owner.
• Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.
• Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.
• Dogs understand what "no" means.
• You can force a dog to take a bath.
• Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.
• Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.
• Dogs are nice to your relatives.
• Dogs will cuddle next to you and not expect anything more.
• Dogs don't feel threatened if you earn more than they do.
• Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
• Dogs don't criticize your friends
• Dogs are already in touch with their inner puppies.
• Dogs obsess about you as much as you obsess about them.

 

Do you have other reasons why dogs are better than men/women/children?  Please add a comment and share.