Beating the holiday blues

November 9, 1:33 PMPhoenix Unchurched Singles ExaminerGiselle Aguiar

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Here they come again — the holidays.

Holidays can produce moments of severe depression for singles. Even for people who are happy living alone, holidays can be difficult. There is a feeling that "everyone’s having a good time except for me." Even watching a commercial of a happy family around the table can trigger depression—especially if being with family for the holidays is not an option.

The idea is to create new traditions. Many singles groups offer Thanksgiving dinners for those who’ll be alone for the holiday. Someone makes the turkey and everyone else brings the trimmings and desserts. (Check out the churches listed below. Most of them have singles groups.) Force yourself to be with people at lease part of the time—even if it’s accepting an invitation from a friend to have dinner with their family. Don’t think that they’re just feeling sorry for you and “taking you in” for the holiday like a stray cat. It’s OK to accept. Too much time alone isn’t good for anyone. Human companionship breaks monotony, creates balance and makes time spent alone easier to enjoy.

Christmas is a little more difficult. As Thanksgiving is just one day, the Christmas season seems to start earlier each year. Seeing Christmas decorations in the stores before Halloween reminds you that you’re going to be alone for yet another holiday. Get involved in helping needy organizations like Toys for Tots. There’s plenty to do to take your mind off your personal situation and you’ll feel the joy of helping others.

Volunteering at a homeless shelter on Thanksgiving or Christmas can become a new activity for you. Putting yourself in the service of others takes your mind off you problems. (Check out the volunteer opportunities listed at the bottom right of this page.)

You get past Thanksgiving and Christmas, then there’s New Year’s. Are you going to die because you don’t have a date for New Year’s? No. Again, many singles groups offer parties for New Year’s. Don’t, by any means, go out for the first time on New Year’s with someone you’ve just met. The pressure to have a good time, the partying, overindulging and the emotion can lead you somewhere you don’t want to go with a relative stranger.

You make it through to January without breaking down, and you walk into a store, see the Valentine’s decorations and you realize that you’re spending yet another Valentine’s Day alone. Don’t get desperate and start looking for a date. Going out on Valentine’s with someone you’ve just met is just as bad as New Year’s. Look for a singles group event or get together with other single friends. Don’t turn down an invitation to a party—you’ll never know who you may meet!

And who says you can’t go to the movies, a concert or the theater alone? But, don’t do anything that will make you fell worse. Don’t drink alone, listen to sad music or watch a sad movie. It will only compound a blue mood.

Be sure to seek help in the form of professional counseling if you feel that your condition is unbearable. Professional counselors are familiar with the symptoms of depression and are prepared to help you make your way through it.

You can also be assured that the holiday season eventually ends and you will make it through.