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Misbehavior versus Mistaken Behavior
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First of all, I would like to correct a mistake that I had detected after reading my first entry in the Examiner. Teaching children to meditate helps alleviate stress not elevate stress.
Before taking classes at Front Range Community College in Early childhood Education, I assumed when identifying behavior, a form a punishment for children was based on the degree of misbehavior they expressed on a daily basis.
Since taking a class called ECE 103, I found the term misbehavior was not a term we teachers should be using to label our children's way of expression: in fact the ideal is not to label at all. If children's behavior should be given a name, it should be considered Mistaken Behavior.
The term misbehavior should be considered something adults do. Adults are supposed to know better, when they do something that is considered inappropriate. Children on the other hand do not know better, although we expect them to know better when they reach a certain age.
Children have to be taught by adults what is appropriate, therefore what children experience should be identified as mistaken behavior. We as teachers (and other adults who are care givers to children) can help identify children's concerns. Instead of punishing children by putting them in time-out, a teacher has to get to the root of the conflict and decide whether to intervene. The adult must calmly get down to the child's level and talk to them face to face. With a calm voice but direct approach, for example let the children know your intention is to find out what happened.
Let the child understand that it's okay to make a mistake and that even adults make mistakes. It's the adult's job to help children see the reason the teacher is concerned. For the most part, children can solve their own problems. There's a name for problems children can solve on their own and Wise Ways calls these Mouse Problems.
When conflicts happen that jeopardize the safety of the children, causing the teacher to intervene, Wise Ways calls these Elephant Problems. So when a conflict happens, a teacher might ask the child: is this a Mouse Problem or an Elephant Problem? Most likely, a child will say it's a mouse problem.
Allowing children to solve their own problems gives them self esteem and the power to govern their own behavior. Children are given the chance to take responsibility for themselves and each other. When a conflict happens, approach the child. Instead of saying: Please don't hit anymore, say : I see Jay is upset, what can you do to help him feel better? Nine times out of ten, the child will do something to make their friends feel better.
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