Separation Anxiety

 

            Children suffer from separation anxiety everyday of their young lives, especially these days when both parents have to work. This is a big change from the time when most baby boomers were growing up, and one parent stayed in the house during the day. I felt grateful to know that my mother stayed home with me until I went to kindergarten.

            Everyone in the household (except for the children) have joined the workforce. There are more single parents in the home than ever before: men and woman alike. Therefore, children are left to trust in each other and other caregivers to help through the separation process.

            Many preschools, including the one where I am a teacher (Morning Star Preschool) provide several options to help children, including a cozy corner with large pillows, books and stuffed animals. Additionally, for children who want alone time, my school provides a tee-pee.

            To add to injury, parents feel guilty when leaving their children at school, but it is best for parents not to linger. Lingering makes it harder for the child to accept separation. Allow the teacher to redirect the child. In addition to redirection, we give children love and affection, as in hugs and a calm voice. In addition to offering stuffed animals and a cozy corner, we direct children’s interests with a game or a new toy. We also use the mantra; mommies and daddies always come back.

            Eventually, the child will learn to heal him or herself by engaging in dramatic play, parallel play or solitary play. With time, the separation anxiety will subside. Life on this planet is already difficult for the child, so let’s help them through with all the love we can give.