Denver Theater Examiner

I don't, like, make them do math or anything terrible like that.

Denver actor Jessica Austgen (right), has a deceptively cherubine face.  In point of fact, she's fiercely witty.  Thankfully she reserves her sting for worthy subjects such as errant world leaders and Andrew Lloyd Webber.  Here, a slightly cleaned-up version of Jessica's recent MySpace post (used with her permission, of course):

I've recently been in a few social situations with perfect strangers where the inevitable, perfectly polite, terrifying question gets asked: "So, what do you DO?"

Now, for most normal people, this is not a problem. "I'm a doctor." they might say. Or "I'm a web designer" or "I'm in sales". And then the conversation easily progresses from there.

"Oh," replies the perfectly polite, semi-interested person with whom you are speaking. "Where do you doctor/web design or what do you sell?"

"I doctor at a very important hospital/ web design for Coors/ sell weasels."

And then you and the nice, new person with whom you are making small talk can discuss hospital stuff, web design stuff, or the difficulty of the weasel market in today's troubled economy. A pleasant enough conversation can ensue until you are rescued by a change of topic, your 13 year old cousin or a waiter dropping a tray of drinks.

For those of us in the arts, things are a little different.

"So," a very nice person asked me last week, "what do you do?"

And I froze.

I DO a lot of things. I'm an actor, a teacher, a waiter. I mean, at any given time ONE of those things is paying the bills, but it is constantly rotating and never consistent. For example, six weeks ago I was a full-time actor (er, understudy), right now I'm a full-time waiter and, starting next week, I'm a full-time teacher until August.

So.

What do you say to the person who is just trying to make a little conversation with you and definitely does NOT want to hear the previous paragraph?

I hate saying I'm a waiter, because A) it is pathetic and B) I don't want to spend the rest of the conversation talking about sushi.

But I feel like an absolute idiot if I say I'm a actor because people then ask you one of two follow-up questions: "Are you in anything right now?" or "... in Denver? Really?" And unless I'm actually in an awesome production right at that very second (which has not happened in a while) that I can talk about, the conversation gets very awkward very quickly.

I guess I can say I'm a teacher, but whenever I say that everyone seems to think that I teach elementary school or something and I don't. I'm not a schoolmarm. I work with tiny, adorable children and have them create plays and pretend to be dinosaurs and whack each other with pool noodles. I don't, like, make them do math or anything terrible like that.

So what's my answer to the question? Do I create some sort of pat sound-byte? Do I lie? Do I avoid social situations with new people altogether?

Forget it, I'm gonna start selling weasels.

 

Topics: theatre , theater , audience , Jessica Austgen , comedy , actor

DNC Mediamockracy gets Nader interview

DNC MEDIAMOCKRACY director Mitch Dickman and the cast of William Hahn, Karen Slack and GerRee Hinshaw have been sopping up all the sloppy juicy goodness spilling off the DNC this week. They've been cornering Amy Goodman, skulking around the Daily Show... Read More
Topics: DNC , Mitch Dickman , DNC Mediamockracy

100+ Denver Women performing in honor of Hillary Clinton

Over 100 women from the Denver area are performing at "Suffrage and the Rise of Women Entrepreneurs", celebrating the progress of women as leaders in the United States' economy.  The event will tribute Hillary Clinton, who is scheduled... Read More
Topics: Hillary Clinton , Count Me In

Curious. Yes, Curious. (Lamb Wrangler needed)

John Jurcheck in "Curse of the Starving Class", photo: Michael Ensminger Curious Theatre Company is seeking a lamb wrangler for their production of Sam Shephard's "Curse of the Starving Class" opening Saturday, September... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , Denver , Curious , Curse of the Starving Class , Sam Shephard

Oh, Behave!

Note:  this was originally posted April 18, 2008.    photo of Curious Theatre Co audienceThe gorgeous thing about seeing theatre is the immediacy and vitality of the experience. Unless you're at an advanced screening, your reaction to... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , plays , Denver , audience

Sunday (tonight): Plays and Pie

Curious New Voices- Curious Theatre Co's playwriting program for 15-21 year olds- concludes tonight with the staged readings of 4 short plays.  I directed 2 of 'em.7pm, $5 suggested donation, free pieI mean REALLY.  www.curioustheatre.orgwww.myspace.com/curioustheatre... Read More
Topics: Curious , youth playwrights , Curious New Voices

DNC Mediamockracy

Mitch Dickman's Listen Productions rose prominently into public view last October when the company produced a gun-slinging production of "Macbeth" set in the Wild West.  (The show garnered 6 award nominations from The Denver Post- ... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , plays , audience , Colorado , Buntport , film , Listen Productions , GerRee Hinshaw , DNC , Mitch Dickman , Karen Slack , William Hahn

Great IDEA (dialect resource)

For theatre practicioners: IDEA has an extensive online- and FREE- archive of dialects exemplified by native speakers.  It also has a list of plays-  only around 30 but ranging from "Anna in the Tropics" to "Fiddler on the... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , actor , dialect , accent , IDEA

Insider's Tips to the Colorado Shakespeare Festival

Colorado Shakespeare Festival (CSF) turns 50 this year and it looks fabulous. Since last year's debut of Phillip Sneed as Artistic Director, CSF has added new seats*, a musical ("Woody Guthrie"- and it's really good), a new caterer, and free... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , plays , Denver , audience , Dee Covington , Colorado , free , comedy , Freak Train , GerRee Hinshaw

SF's African-American Shakespeare Company

 MacB: The Macbeth Project San Francisco's African-American Shakespeare Company  has set the Bard's famous tragedy in a modern setting and incorporated music and choreography, and the rhythm of spoken word. One night only:... Read More
Topics: theatre , theater , Colorado , Shakespeare , African-American Shakespeare Company