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List: A heart for Clay 'Tin Man' Bennett
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There are villains everywhere in the Sonics final flight to Oklahoma. Howard Schultz, the previous owner who sold the team to people intent on moving it, is high on the everyone's list. As are former team executive Wally Walker, Mayor Greg Nickels, councilman Nick Licata, Governor Christine Gregoire and NBA Commissioner David Stern, among others.
At the top of my list is deceitful OKC owner Clay Bennett. It's not just because he's so smug or conniving or so calculating with such sinister intent. Although those are all good reasons. They all work.
Mostly it's because he won. He came here with a mission. He exploited the fractured political will. He timed it perfectly with a lease about to run out and a team near the low ebb in talent and appeal. And every move was designed to cut the strings that kept it here for 41 years. The last thread was severed Wednesday and the team is gone. Maybe I'm just a sore loser.
We don't wish Bennett any harm, just bad karma. It's the only thing we have left. We have been vanquished. This is what the vanquished do - they vent. So in the spirit of spite, here's my catty list of how we should respond to our team leaving. Most of this will never happen, but spitefulness is a great cleanser:
1. Let's do what we can to renovate KeyArena and when the NBA says it's finally suitable for a team, tell Commissioner Stern that we'd rather have an NHL franchise.
2. Set aside part of the $45 million to establish an advanced studies program at the University of Washington on business ethics and morality.
3. Petition prominent Seattle company officials from Microsoft, Amazon.com, Boeing, Starbucks and such that they should tell their advertising agencies not to buy any TV or radio time involving NBA games. If General Motors can wield its power in Detroit to have two Super Bowls played in mid-winter in the Upper Midwest, then we certainly can throw our considerable weight around as well.
4. Any local company that has branches in Oklahoma should consider its relocation options. Tit for tat.
5. Distribute colorful ribbon decals to display on the back of our SUVs that say 'No More Oklahoma Oil.''
6. If the city should ever get another NBA team, the first priority needs to be signing the best player on the Oklahoma City Rustlers roster and bring him to Seattle. Can you say Kevin Durant?
7. Borrowing an idea from San Francisco, name our next sewer treatment plant the Clay Bennett Playgrounds.
8. Getting the Woodland Park Zoo involved, Bennett would be a fine name for its lowest slithering snake.
9. Thoroughly jam the Goggle search engine so that any time you type in the word duplicitous Clay Bennett's mug appears.
10. Pull some strings so that Bennett's name moves up the priority list for a heart. The Tin Man could use one.
Any other suggestions?
