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Uniting in sisterhood- the miscarriage project
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Photo: Wikimedia.org
(Letter reprinted with permission)
Dear friends and family,
A few of you know that my husband Corey and I suffered a miscarriage last May. The experience was profoundly painful and difficult, and months later I’m still surprised by the depth and complexity of my own sadness. At the time of this writing, I would have been eight months pregnant, my clumsy belly bumping into restaurant tables with thoughts of baby showers and nursery colors on my mind.
Women speak of miscarriage in hushed tones, even though as many as one in five pregnancies have such an unfortunate ending. It’s so common that doctors brush off the occurrence with a wave of their pen and a “these things happen”, leaving couples without resources to deal with a trauma that is as real and as painful as the death of a loved one for some.
The reason I’m writing you is not for sympathy, but because I need your help. I’ve decided to write a book about the topic.
After my miscarriage two things happened: 1. Every single person I confided in had a story to tell, making me realize that so many suffer yet so few share their experiences, and 2. I was shocked to find only one book on the subject at my local bookstore, and it was placed in the “diseases” section. By contrast, at the same location I counted 142 books on pregnancy.
I decided it is time start talking about miscarriage and begin the healing.
I’m looking for women (and men) willing to share their experiences with me. I envision the book to be a collection of 15-20 short nonfiction pieces, stories from people of all ages and different parts of the country about how they feel, what they experienced, how they dealt with the mental and physical pain, how they moved on (if they have) and whether they shared their experience with friends and family. I also intend to interview doctors, nurses, psychologists and sociologists.
I hope this book will help those who have experienced it realize they aren’t alone. So many women suffer silently and shamefully, and they don’t have to. Just knowing that other women are dealing with the same things has helped me tremendously and I suspect that others might feel better knowing this as well. This does not have to be a taboo subject.
If you know someone who has suffered a miscarriage and might be interested in talking to me, please forward them this letter. I understand this is a painful topic, and for now I’m just interested in having some basic introductory conversations, so please know that there’s no pressure to commit to the book project at this time. Please forward to family and friends who might know someone willing to share. If you personally know someone, it would be great if you could help with setting up introductions. Likewise, if you know of additional resources that might be of help, please pass them along.
Please do not hesitate to contact me with any questions or concerns. My contact info is listed below. I sincerely appreciate taking the time to consider ways you can help. This is important to me and so many others.
Thanks,
Kim (sharinghelps@gmail.com)
Additional miscarriage articles: Caffeine and miscarriage, Miscarriage support groups, The pill that helps prevent miscarriage, Miscarriage- her perspective, Miscarriage- his perspective
Question or comments, email lucy at lucymlogan@gmail.com
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