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Love and Marriage Examiner

Looking for love, the search goes on

May 21, 8:09 PMLove and Marriage ExaminerRita Watson
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When I realized that online matchmaking was the most lucretive of online services, I wondered why.  So I asked  the "happily married books" author Scott Haltzman, M.D., a psychiatrist at Brown University,

He said this: “When looking for love, people seek a mysterious amalgam of qualities in another person. In part, we have preconceived notions of what we find attractive, based on our own cultures and families, and also influenced by the culture around us.

"There’s quite a bit of trial and error when it comes to dating, and these services allow you to ‘figure out’ with whom you are a good match without investing money in failed attempts at finding Mr. or Ms. Right," he added.

“Over the Web, you can develop intimacy with someone before you ever meet him or her. You can have deep conversations long into the night and not have to pay for so much as a cheeseburger.”

Dr. Haltzman is author of  The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less  and  The Secrets of Happily Married Men: Eight Ways to Win Your Wife's Heart Forever

Wall Streeters paying for love:  Despite the free-fall on Wall Street, even pricey matchmaking services appear to be booming. And some Wall Streeters are writing checks from $25,000 to $50,000 to find the right partner.

However, Prof. Shoshana Grossbard, of the Department of Economics at San Diego State University, says, “Even if there are more Wall Street men looking for such women at the present time, one wonders if there is a matching increase in women’s willingness to act as nurturing partners.

“It is possible that women’s willingness to provide a warm home to Wall Street men, and other men in need of comfort, is now higher as women are finding fewer job opportunities in labor markets. As such, the ‘wife track’ may be relatively more attractive these days. It always takes two to tango.”

That old fish in the sea:  Nonetheless dating a stranger has its drawbacks. Those who have not taken seriously the condom-up message could end up receiving a “You’ve Got Mail” ring on their computer. Instead of an e-mail that says, “I love you dearly,” it could turn out to be one of those anonymously generated electronic cards informing you that you have been infected with a sexually transmitted disease. That would be devastating.

But for skeptics like me, there is another small, but nagging worry: What if you end up meeting one of the fish you had already thrown back into the sea?
  
For my full article, which appeared in the Providence Journal on May 3rd, go to Looking for Love: Wall Street to Main Street 
 
For more about Online dating, please go to: our Online Dating Examiner 

My most recent Sudden Passion story: Sudden passion: a silk blindfold

Copyright 2009 Rita Watson:

 

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