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The Benefits of Making Mistakes in Parenting
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Today, I want to share with you the benefits of making mistakes. Many times, as mothers, we have every intention of doing a great job for our families. We read the best books to learn everything from how to get our children to sleep through the night to what the most important study habits of school aged children are most successful. In addition, we plan healthy and nutritious meals to ensure our children's physical success.
Eventually, in motherhood, we fall. We make a mistake and forget something relevant or significant. How do you handle your mistakes? Are you your own worst critic, or do you have hecklers?
Making a mistake provides us with a new perspective and a set of information from a completely different vantage point. It is only when we pack the wrong items in our child's lunch that we come to know what the other possibilities are. Many times we continue to do things in the same old way, and we never have the benefit of seeing different outcomes. We can use our mistakes as learning opportunities to either get more information, to change unnecessary pressure from fix routines, or simply to laugh.
Secondly, everyone makes mistakes. Erase your need for perfection and replace it with understanding. Understand that you are human, and that you are doing your best as a mom. Maybe you did put the baby's clothing on backward. This is insignificant in the big context of life. Maybe you missed the school play because you forgot to write it on your calendar. This provides you with any opportunity to discuss how moms--like kids--make errors, and when they do, they have to be honest and courageous about what happened.
Thirdly, surround yourself with people who affirm and support you as you grow in this stage of your life. Sometimes we feel the need to show others that we are really good at this life as mom. Remember, that you have to do your best... not impress. Moms often ask me simple strategies to address others who question their parenting. I recommend the following steps to relieve this stress:
- 1. Establish some boundaries. Remember, we teach others how to treat us.
- 2. Ask clearly but politely that neighbors, in-laws, parents and friends who criticize and complain about your parenting style or approach give you some space. You might say, "What you said to me hurt my feelings just now. I am learning and doing my best. You have to give me some room here."
- 3. Trust yourself. Know that your best is good enough.
Remember, no one is perfect and that you don't need to be perfect to be a terrific mom. Being a good mom requires love, commitment and nurturing. If your parenting contains any combination of those adjectives then your mistakes are minor and your care is major.
Live fully,
Mia
