Mommy Union

Let’s have a laugh!

There’s nothing like a good laugh to improve a mood and make even the most frustrating, stressful situations seem more tolerable and workable.

I recently had a phone conversation with a mom friend of mine who was having a particularly frustrating day with her husband and children. Her day was doomed from the start when she woke up with the flu because as we all know, mothers aren’t supposed to get sick. Feeling miserable, she carried out her morning duties thinking about how she’d crawl back into bed with her toddler using Nick Jr. as the sitter just as soon as she got the rest of her brood out the door.

Of course, things didn’t go as planned as they rarely do when you really, really need them to and the complaints and requests kept rolling in.

“MO-EMMM, I wanted my red shirt... Ashley’s wearing her red shirt today and we wanted to match!”

“Adam took the last of the Sugar Crispy O’s and I WAAANTED them!”

“Honey, do you have any idea where my keys are?”

By the time her toddler had tipped over the garbage, accidentally or on purpose just out of sheer curiosity, and the dog was licking up God knows what from the mess, she had really, really had it!

She scooped up the toddler, handed him off to her husband, marched upstairs, wrote a note, stuck it on the outside of her bedroom door, locked the door and crawled into bed.

Of course, her family was bewildered by her actions and her husband was soon at the door. Before he knocked, he read the note:

“I hereby declare all mothers to be members of the newly formed Momsters Union retroactive to the day and year of their first child’s birth or adoption. Furthermore, I am taking the first of my cumulative sick days that after 12 years of motherhood now amount to 120 days.”

I was rolling with laughter by the time she’d finished the story, and we went on to formulate more rules for this imaginary union for mothers.

This is what we came up with in addition to the 10 cumulative sick days per year:

1. Mother’s Day Rules: Children may make hand-crafted gifts, but the spouse must purchase a separate gift such as jewelry or the like. The mother must sleep in. Breakfast in bed is to include cleaning up the kitchen.

2. In lieu of motherhood being an unpaid position, a minimum of four spa days per year is required.

3. Spring cleaning is to be done by a hired service. Regular cleaning is to be hired out if the children are in more than two activities.

4. Car pool mileage is a reimbursable expense to be reimbursed via gift certificates to favorite girls’ night out hot spots.

5. If complaints are made regarding laundry turn-out, the complaining party will be forced to do his or her own laundry.

6. The mother relinquishes her former title as “Keeper of All Things” and each member of the household shall become responsible for their own things forthwith.

7. The mother also relinquishes her former titles of “Walking Waste Receptacle” and “Human Napkin” and children are to deposit gum wrappers and the like in the trash themselves and never use their mother’s pant leg to wipe off sticky fingers.

We’re still working on the list, but it shall be lengthy in the end!

Live fully,

Mia

www.findingdefinitions.com

Topics: Mother's Day