Jason Mesnick digs mustard, brunettes and Sela Ward look-alike in premier of The Bachelor

January 5, 11:07 PMThe Bachelor ExaminerRose Ryder

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Nikki wins first impression rose  

The first episode of this season’s "The Bachelor: Sleepless in Seattle" aired tonight and it was true to its tired but always fun-to-watch form. Chris Harrison promises that it will be "the most romantic season ever." Jason says he has found his true match.

Then we flashback to half nude Jason (he had his shirt off A LOT – mmm mmm good) moving to the Bachelor home with his son Ty and his brother Larry (who will take care of Ty while Jason is "dating" the ladies). Lucky kid has a private playground on the Bachelor grounds.

Then we get to know the ladies – a motley crew filled with single moms, divorcees and gleaming white teeth, especially Shannon, the dental hygienist tooth Nazi who came off a little kooky but likeable (note to Shannon, don’t tell a man you did that much research on him. All the ladies did that research but you’re the only one who showed your cards).

The twist this year came when Harrison told the giggly women they had to vote for the lady who they wanted to leave tonight. Megan won this ugly award – although Harrison said the only thing Megan would leave with tonight would be a rose. You know the producers brainstormed this childish scheme over beers in an effort to make one lady the villain this year (nice job – it worked – yeah you!). Jason said he had a connection with Megan and would have given her a rose any way (so na-na-na-boo-boo).

This year’s lady to watch is Nikki, aka, Sela Ward look-alike. Sela, I mean Nikki, was seen wearing a Ms. Illinois sash and tiara while cleaning her home but is most remembered because she received the coveted first impression rose.  I think she's Nikki Kaapke - the 2006 winner of Miss. Illinois International. (Sela Ward pictured below)

Other memorable moments:

Quote of the Night:   "I handle bitches with a slap" courtesy of Naomi, who I am thrilled to report got a rose.

Gag Moment of the Night:  When Jason said he needed to know DeAnna in order for him to know he could love again.

 Lady to Love:  Stephanie. She’s a widow (her husband was killed in a plane crash three years ago) and she came off as a gentle soul.

 Lady to Hate:  Megan. She’s the divorced mom of a 14 year old baby who the ladies voted to leave.

 Most Awkward Moment:  Listening to Kari from Kansas read a poem while orange-donned dress Nicole sat next to Jason.

 Confrontation of the Night:  Molly Malaney from Michigan (good alliteration) stealing Jason away when Brazilian Raquel tried to teach him to dance.

Best schtick to get noticed:  This title goes to cute Canadian Jillian who demanded to know Jason’s favorite hot dog topping. He picked mustard, which Jillian says means he’s the kind of guy you want to settle down with. Where was the relish?

The one that got away:  It’s a tie: 1) Shelby. We didn’t get to know her but she looks like Cameron Diaz and that would have been reason enough to keep her on-board (in my husband’s opinion). 2) Bubbly Dominique from the lamest city, Mt. Carmel, Pennsylvania. She looks like Joan Cusack and sells toe implants. She just seemed like the kind of girl I could be friends with.

Other girls that got away include:

Ann, the flight attendant from Phoenix

The lonely Seattle girl, Emily

Divorced wedding coordinator Jackie who "already planned" her wedding to Jason. Guess she’ll be losing a lot of deposits.

First grade teacher, Julie

Orange clad Nicole

Renee, whose vision board forgot to tell her that she looks crazy talking about vision boards

Cool Utah mom Stacia

Treasure (yes, it's her real name)

Ladies on the road to love:

Erica, who received the second most votes to leave from the ladies

Hot diggity dog Jillian

Poetic Kari from Kansas

Government teacher Lauren

Lisa from Idaho

Expletive Megan

Dallas Cowboys cheerleader Melissa

Molly Malaney from Michigan (she already has a hometown story written about her – yeah you!). 

Sharon - the girl who looks like Darryl Hannah and quit her job to be on the show (err, meet Jason).

Naomi the flight attendant who is not afraid of confrontation and gave us the quote of the night (she might be my personal favorite)

Natalie (has no TV – really, come on, you’re going to be on a TV show!?!?)

This year’s season promises to be complete with a DeAnna Pappas moment. The teaser makes it look like DeAnna wants Jason back. She tells Jason she "made a mistake." She looks distraught. Was she talking about her recent break-up with Jesse Csinsak or did she accept the wrong man’s proposal?

And when they showed the highlights from the final episode, I noticed that the woman was wearing a white/bluish dress and had dark hair. Sorry blondes, looks like it’s a no-go this season for you.

I’ll be watching next week – will you?