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Dad’s Garage: Where college kids kick evil’s ass
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Sometimes, I don’t want to “go” to my happy place. Sometimes, I want my happy place to come to me -- like on Friday, December 19 for example. That afternoon, I received an email from an old flame with the subject heading “You Suck,” global economists forecast the fast approach of the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and Burger King debuted its new, meat-scented body spray.
So, when a friend suggested I check out a local comedy show in which spandex wearing twenty-something year-olds defeat the forces of darkness through ad lib and acrobatics -- I was in.
I pulled into the potholed parking lot of Dad’s Garage and waited in line for the 10:30 pm performance of “C.A.M.P.U.S. Strike Force,” a weekly Improv act of five crime-fighting college kids. As I stepped inside the building, the first thing I noticed was its complete and total lack of pretension. This wasn’t the stuffy, overpuffed interior of “comedia dell’arte.” This was the ultimate homespun, self-made stomping ground for anyone who has ever wanted to act for the pure love of acting: Check your credentials at the door.
The 13-year old non-profit theater oozes innocence in its dry-erase Event boards, screen-printed t-shirts, and easy-on-the-purse-strings membership packages. Take away the tin buckets of ice-cold beer and I could have easily been back in the performing arts lodge of my childhood summer camp. (The cabin stood over the lake and when the weather permitted, we’d stage our end-of-the-season play outside on “Shakes Pier.”) Wrapped in that warm memory in Dad’s Garage, I buy a Hershey bar and very berry juice box at the concession stand and take my seat in the damp, musty theater. The last thing I see before the lights dim is a rusty metal sign that reads: “What happens in the garage, stays in the garage.” Rebelliously, I take out my notebook and pen and practice writing straight lines in the pitch dark.
The Show Begins: In the left-hand corner below the stage is the very modest orchestra pit. Here the M.C. sits at a wooden table with an old-fashioned silver Ham radio microphone mounted to the top; and next to him, a keyboardist and a bass guitarist. Onto the stage, five actors in brightly hued outfits come forward. In a hybrid German/Chinese accent, the M.C. announces the opening scene of Episode Seven: C.A.M.P.U.S. Strike Force. The crime-fighting, techno-colored quintet includes:
- Ed (Blue): Nerdy boy with glasses who thinks giving girls “toys and video games” is a turn on.
- Eve (Green): Enchanting blonde. Love interest of…
- John (Yellow): Womanizing jock in letter jacket and football cap. Used to be romantically linked to…
- Dana (Orange): Over-sexed, high-strung spurned ex lover.
- Amber (Red): Peace keeper; wants everyone to get along
What follows is a wildly engaging 90-minute production of unparalleled raucousness and raunchiness. The basic gist: As college peers in regular clothes, C.A.M.P.U.S. Strike Force must defeat their own raging hormones and inner love trysts. As crime-fighters in color-coordinated, full-bodied spandex costumes, the team must destroy the wicked plottings of Queen Tectonica Recto Danger and her sadistic army of henchman, including a homoerotic mollusk named “Mega Bi-Valve.”
Obviously, this isn’t your average cast of characters. Nonetheless, it’s an Improv show. There were no scripts to remember, or rehearsals to practice lines. As flamboyant as the costumes were, it was still up to the actors to breath exciting, animated life into a Styrofoam clam suit and skin-tight superhero getups. I’m comfortable saying, they did this with gusto.
Apart from the basic (may I say daunting) feat of building a working dialogue out of scratch, the actors had the added challenge of responding to the abrupt prompts of the M.C. For example: While two of the actors were on a date, the M.C. butts in: “And now John recites Eve a poem.” Right away, John fumbles over the lines, “Eve. You are a flower, that I want… to… de… flower.” Suddenly, the M.C. interrupts again and adds: “In rhyming couplets.” Hilariously, John rises to the occasion and says: “Oh Eve. I really like your hair… Because… because… I want to see you bare.”
Of course, there was a fair share of awkward pauses where you could see the actors struggling to think of something to say next. But then, a few scenes over, the performance would be so imaginative and effortless that I’d forget it was all being made up on the spot. I was particularly blown away by the grace and athleticism in the physical battles between the Strike Force members and the band of evil henchmen; an acrobatic theater of body slams, karate chops, and chokeholds that would have made Sid Vicious proud.
As for my favorite scene above all, one ad-libbed number deserves the crown, literally: Queen Tectonica and her loyal servant Ham break out into Whitney Houston’s “I believe the children are our future,” joined one at a time by the keyboardist, M.C., the entire Strike Force crew, the mono-syllabic grunting and moaning henchmen, and last but not least, Mega Bi-Valve -- who ends the musical number with the personal twist: “I found the greatest love of all inside this clam.” Some other fabulous one-liners include:
--- Servant Ham request a Christmas bonus from Queen Tectonica. “What do you need this money for,” the queen asks. “To buy six different kinds of puppies and play the game ‘Whack a Puppy,” Ham replies.
--- Mega Bi-Valve, who was reincarnated from the slain Bi-Valve, describes what heaven is like: “Flying angels, called ‘Tinkle Fairy’s,’ swoop down and lift up the toilet seat when you need to pee, put it down when you’re finished, and even flush.”
--- Queen Tectonica: “Ever been kicked in the balls by a hologram? It still hurts.”
In the end, I’m happy to say that C.A.M.P.U.S. Strike Force defeated the evil empire of Queen Tectonica, along with Mega Bi-Valve, and finally, “Giant Mega Bi-Valve” -- all with the help of the eight-foot tall “SUPER SUCKER” robot.
This Friday, December 26, see how the romping, rainbow-colored C.A.M.P.U.S. Strike Force fares against the monstrous villain “Santa CLAWS.” Show starts at 10:30 pm.
Or, come by Dad’s Garage Theater on New Year’s Eve where you can start drinking at 10 pm, get in your car, and play a game the C.A.M.P.U.S. M.C. likes to call, “Get Past The D.U.I. Road Block.”
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