You may have noticed, Reader, that I tend to write these articles in fits and starts. Sometimes inspiration comes molasses-slow; being physically and economically compromised and not wanting to travel, over the holidays I just felt sort of sad and defeated by the current economy's merciless caul over everything.
Shopping for holiday gifts is one of my very favorite activities; finding just the perfect thing for the perfect person gets that dopamine flowing like nobody's business. I love it, and this year I couldn't, so I dropped the ball entirely (like not completing the twelve gifts under twenty dollars series of articles-I hang my head in shame) and just sort of white-knuckled it until it was over.
I'm perplexed that my lack of money was almost directly proportionate to my lack of holly jolly spirit. Embarrassed, actually. But it is the truth, and so, in a blatant act of thievery, I will pass along to you something I found while flipping through this month's Glamour magazine at the spine clinic. Glamour is not one of my favorite magazines, but I was refreshed by the no-frills succinctness and wisdom of some of the most fascinating ladies ever in "The 9 best one-liners of all time", by Jessica Seigel. Here they are:
1. "It costs a lot of money to look this cheap."-Dolly Parton
2. "Well-behaved women seldom make history."-Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
3. "Old age is no place for sissies."-Bette Davis
4. "The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you except yourself."-Rita Mae Brown
5. "If you can't say something good about someone, come, sit right here by me."-Alice Roosevelt Longworth
6. "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone."- Attributed to Dorothy Parker
7. "I never hated a man enough to give him diamonds back."-Zsa Zsa Gabor
8. "General notions are generally wrong."-Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
9. "Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me?"-Mae West in Sextette
I just can't see how I could possibly do any better than those fabulous dames. Happy new year, and here's to a gorgeous 2009!