I think Newman's "Partially Used Q-Tip, or "PUQT" style best represents disco-era hairdos.

Why, when so many advancements have been made in hair-product technology, does no serum, pomade, spray or mousse ever make a lasting effect?  They all say they'll work, citing breakthrough ingredients and technology, and I try them all with fingers crossed, and it's no use. Why are we still enslaved to the elements? I'll tell you why. Because you really can't fight Mother Nature, that's why. But still I push forward, soldiering on in my tireless quest for frizzless tresses, ignoring the facts, hoping, as is my wont, for the magic.

  The brilliant Ms. Radner's usual style was closer to the PUQT than the iconic, boldly geometric "Roseannadanna" shown here. 

                                                                   
To that end, starting today I will try a new product. It's called Nexxus Sleek Memory Straightening Smoothing Spray, and it promises to "train" the hair to become smoother every time you use it, due to a timed-release system of delivering silk amino acids, avocado oil, vitamin E and glycerin into the hair shaft continuously throughout the day. It also contains wheat, just in case you're allergic or sensitive; hair is very similar to skin in its composition, and it is quite possible to absorb both good and bad stuff through the follicle, not as easily as transdermally, but it gets in there. 

Jane's limp yet frizzy "Disillusioned Housewife" looked the least explosive, but somehow annoys me more because it's so noncommittal. Plus the DH is disappointingly similar to what I'm working with at the moment.

So, I'll keep you posted. I will follow the instructions for use to the letter, use it faithfully, and perhaps this can be the beginning of many beauty experiments. If you would like me to try a makeup, skin- or hair-care product, service or technique, let me know. I'll do it, man. I'm not messing around.

All photos courtesy of nbc.com