Stop Second Guessing Yourself - An Interview with Jen Singer from Mommasaid.net

April 15, 2:19 PMLA Motherhood ExaminerKimberley Clayton Blaine

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The Go-To Mom, Kimberley Blaine interviews,  the author of, 'STOP SECOND-GUESSING YOURSELF:

The Toddler Year: A Field-Tested Guide to Confident Parenting
 

Q. What’s the hardest part about transitioning from babyhood to toddlerhood?

A. Mobility and your toddler’s increasingly strong urge to ditch Mommy and go check out that butterfly/puddle/cupcake/dog/etc. It’s a never ending effort to balance your child’s curiosity and learning with safety and the attempt to get places on time – and without a temper tantrum. In short, the toddler years are a lot like Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride: harrowing, yet often amusing, and always full of surprises.

Q. What’s the biggest mistake that parents of toddlers make?

A. Attempting to get through Target at naptime is one of them. Not expecting the unexpected is another. After I found myself at a Halloween party attempting to change one toddler’s diaper, even though he was in a dragon costume without snaps, while monitoring another toddler who was reaching for a plate full of cupcakes half a room away, I learned to lower my expectations. Toddlerhood was still a crazy, exhausting time for me, but at least I knew it should be.

Q. How can you run a playdate or playgroup without all the mama drama?

A. If you’re hosting a playdate or a playgroup, understand that, like it or not, your mothering skills are on display for all the other moms, and vice versa. But you can nip the urge to compete in a mothering competition with a few simple tips, including:
 1. Hide your toddler’s favorite toy. That way you’ll avoid a tug-of-war (and its ensuing meltdown and your apology.)
2. Don’t rush in to referee. Toddlers have amazingly short-term memories. If you wait just a little longer than you’d like to, one toddler just might find another shiny new toy and forget what she was in a tizzy about in the first place.
3. Keep it short. An hour or two is long enough before everyone starts to get cranky (moms included.)

Q. How can you run errands with a squirmy, active toddler in tow?

A. Remember that timing is everything. Think about it from your toddler’s perspective: it’s hard enough not having any say in what you do or where you go, but getting dragged to the furniture store at 9:00 p.m. on Friday

Q. How do you handle the Terrible Two’s?

A. Here’s a secret: Sometimes Terrible Two’s starts before age two. Sometimes, it hits at four and sometimes not at all. In general, toddlers are an unpredictable lot. They can go from sweet to sour (and super-cranky) in no time flat. The key is to predict and diffuse. If, for instance, you know your toddler is going to have a canary because his cousin just touched his favorite Elmo doll, swoop in and distract him with something better, like a new and, therefore, more attractive toy, a snack, or when all else fails—dare I say—a video.

Q. What are some of the “Milestones You Don’t Want to Share with Grandma”?

A. These are the things nobody told you about – and you probably don’t want to tell anyone about. Some of the most typical include: Opens, Closes, Locks, and Unlocks Doors, Stuffing Things up Noses and into Ears and Toilet Games, where the commode doubles as a boat landing or toy flusher. Take heart: These are common, and you can handle them, once you learn how. I cover these and five others and what to do about them in the book. One tip: Keep a key to the house and your cell phone in your pocket or a key hidden outside in case your toddler decides to try the lock when you step outside for a minute.

Q. If you could give mothers of toddlers one bit of advice, what would it be?

A. Don’t assume they can’t reach the middle of the kitchen table.

Visit Jen Singer's website at Mommasiad.net

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