Do not neglect your friendships

November 8, 2:30 PMFargo Women's Relationship Advice ExaminerShannon Pollert

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Whenever we begin a new romance, it is easy to allow the excitement of something new to override everything else. I talked last week about the importance of not losing yourself when you are in a relationship. Almost as important is not losing your friendships.

Unfortunately, as people, we tend to take things for granted when we become used to them. The consistency of a friend’s reliability conditions us to assume it will always be there. When a romantic relationship is new, we foolishly assume that much more effort must be placed into this relationship and as such we allow our friendships to fall by the wayside believing that they can withstand the strain.

While you don’t need to ignore the new guy, you definitely should not neglect your friends. Breaking plans, not returning calls, reaching out only when your guy is out of town or unavailable, all these things send the message that your friendship is not as important as your romantic relationship. Now, you may not lose your friendships immediately, but neglecting your friends because you are in a relationship will certainly not strengthen your bond.

Your friends may be understanding at first, but if you continually pull a disappearing act whenever Mr. Wonderful beckons, I would bet money your friendship will suffer. Let me ask you something: Do you enjoy receiving calls from someone only when there is something they want from you? Do you enjoy knowing someone is calling you because you are their backup plan and not their first choice? I imagine you answered “no” to both questions, so what makes you think your friends would answer “yes” to either of them?

Be careful to get your priorities straight. Remember that your friends have been there for you longer than any guy, and they will be the ones that are standing by your side in the unfortunate event Mr. So Right becomes Mr. So Wrong. True friends are difficult to find, and taking them for granted is an easy way to lose them. They deserve much better than just scraps of time or second thoughts.