Best gifts for men

November 28, 3:41 AMSexual Health ExaminerCourtney Bee

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That's a mighty big package. See? Size does matter.

You know by now that men aren’t going to do cartwheels if you present them with a picture frame or a sweater (though the good ones will attempt to give you their most convincing “I’ve been meaning to get one of these pastel polo shirts for ages” face). So how do you find a gift that rocks his world and firmly establishes yourself as the coolest girlfriend ever? Identify your man from this lineup and shop accordingly:

For the movie buff: James Bond Ultimate DVD Collector’s Set or The Essential Steve McQueen Collection. There’s also a Steven Seagal boxed set if your boyfriend is cinematically retarded.

For the techie: TomTom GPS. He’ll never get lost again with this miracle car navigation system, and with all the programmable features, he can customize it to his heart’s content. Now that you can pay to add celebrity voices to your GPS, having Mr. T tell you to keep left at the fork in the road turns a trip to Home Depot into a delightful journey.

For the sex maniac: The Liberator ramp. Innocent-looking enough to pass for a pilates accessory, this comfy wedge is designed to help females achieve G-spot activation (a gift for you) and make anal sex more appealing (a gift for him). It also reduces knee and back tension in men and makes on-location sex more comfortable (no more rug burns!). But once this gift is in his hands you’d better be prepared to use it. A lot.

For the sports nut: Anything from victorytailgate.com. Are you dating the guy that never misses a home game? Support his addiction with tailgating tents, blankets, cornhole (heh heh) boards, and other paraphernalia with his favorite team’s logo and colors. I believe the term for this kind of gift is called enabling, but the tear in his eye as he opens his USC rolling cooler will be worth it.   

For the metrosexual: Sephora Brand Deluxe Sampler for Him. This genius set includes twelve trial sizes of the store’s top-selling men's fragrances to try and a gift voucher that can be redeemed at any Sephora store for a full-sized bottle of any one of the samples included. And don’t worry—if the thought of going to a cosmetics store and wading through a sea of women smearing on lip gloss to claim his bottle of cologne fills him with dread, you can always offer to pick it up yourself (like you needed an excuse to go to Sephora).

For the scumbag ex-boyfriend: A ShamWow