You alone hold the key to transforming problems into opportunities

April 30, 12:14 PMFitness ExaminerStefan Pinto

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Each new attempt at change is a test of our limits. Be it a diet, working out, socializing more or delving into a new job in a new field. Bolstering your resolve to simply get through it requires unfaltering convictions and a will-power, replete with determination.

Our minds are exactly that – our minds – and out of control thoughts will produce anxiety. We can make the conscious choice to ignore these thoughts or obsess, lose focus and ultimately fail.

True story

Recently, I competed in the Romantic Times’ annual Mr. Romance competition. It is during this event, a new model is chosen to represent a certain, prestigious book publisher on the cover of a series of romance novels (like Fabio). It was a rigorous and grueling event. Hundreds of people; meet and greets; breakfasts with strangers; lunches during rehearsals; elaborate costumed dinners with prestigious, best selling authors. Overwhelming.

The second day, I lost focus. My mind actually tried to convince me that this was all “pie in the sky” and a pipe dream. It wasn’t until I took the time to detach myself from the outcome and look at the event for what it was, an opportunity and not a competition, that I was able to once again smile and present myself in a manner that was expected of me. Thankfully, this lapse took place in the privacy of the men’s bathroom, and as the event was attended mostly by women, I had no witnesses. So, don’t tell anyone.

It really is up to us to determine our mood and our actions. We alone make the choices to be affected by outside situations. Think about it; if someone pays you a compliment, you can make the mental choice to either graciously accept it or to not take it personally. According to Don Miguel Ruiz in The Four Agreements, “what others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream.” Conversely, when someone suggests that “you look fat,” the choice to be offended is likely a result of your perceptions of what that implies and as a result, it is taken as an insult. If, instead, you were to look at is as a suggestion to loose weight, the person’s intention (and tone) not withstanding, this comment could actually help you. As Ruiz says, “when you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.”

What we typically perceive as problems or obstacles can be opportunities in disguise. It is how we choose to look at it, our spontaneous right action “the right action at the right moment. The right response to every situation as it happens. Spontaneous right action is the action that nourishes you and everyone else who is influenced by that action” – Deepak Chopra, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success.

When faced with new situations that are tests, try asking “what’s right about this?” How we look at the situation makes the difference and will change the perception of the situations. If you focus on only what is wrong, then that is all you will see. Steven Hayes, author of Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life, suggests that "we picture our minds as electronic gadgets with dials." One dial Hayes calls Willingness, "it's safe to assume that we start life with that dial set at zero, and we rarely see any reason to change it."

A decision to lose weight, exercise more or to eat healthier is a choice. Like most decisions that involve change, they can at first be unconsciously perceived as repellent, however, the test of your limits can actually make you realize that you are stronger than you thought. 

Readers overcoming obstacles

Here are some suggestions, encouragement or just tips on how some readers overcame weight loss obstacles. Do add your own comments, obstacles and how you overcame them. You could win a gift basket from Tilvee Eco Ethical Skincare

• Alex Ong - "20 years of staying obese was more than enough for me. The experience was extremely painful. Mentally you have to handle the way people look at you just because you are big, especially in any buffet restaurants. I grew tired of this."
• James Hahn II - "False Assumptions. Occurs when people tell themselves, 'It’s always been this way, so it’ll always be this way.'
• Maureen Nelson - "My biggest obstacle is the length of my commute. Which is another way of saying 'time.'"
• Greg Mumm - "Not setting goals. Don't go at it blind. Write out what you want from exercise and write with feeling."
• Corey Beasley - "One of your biggest hurdles to losing large amounts of weight is you. The self-esteem and confidence needed to overcome negative self-talk is significant and critical to success."
• Elana Carter - "I didn't have weight loss as a goal.  I went on a vacation with my cousin to Jamiaca.  I had never learned to swim and was terrified of the water. I missed out on a lot of activities."
• Joan Denizot - "A big obstacle for obese people is that fitness equipment isn’t built strong enough for them.  I’m America’s top expert of bike riding for the obese, and the problem is huge and widespread— and it’s not only with bikes."
• Stacey Grieve - "All the obstacles I had come up with that were "holding" me back from being able to maintain my weight were basically all in my mind. After 30 years of dieting, I decided to switch my attention from the food and my stomach, and redirect it to my thoughts and my thinking."
• Dr. Talia Witkowski - "I did not have to diet or exercise to lose the weight. It was entirely a spiritual and emotional program. What kept me from really losing it all and keeping it off was that I was not emotionally mature enough to handle what it was like to be a skinny person."
• Tonya Kerr - "Food preparation is the BIGGEST problem for me....and now my three girls are hitting their tween years....and my problems in the kitchen are effecting them. I TRULY, TRULY, TRULY believe that my lack of ability in the kitchen is the problem"
• Alison Blackman - "I think the idea of schelpping to an expensive gym in these time-stressed, economically-stressesd times, is too challenging for many people. The gym itself may be the primary obstacle."
• Matt Lisk - "The time dedicated to losing weight. Planning, creating and preparing healthy meals was time consuming"
  
• Julius Nagy (via Twitter) - "Weight loss barriers are in our heads, not access to exercise or made-to-order food"
• Josef Brandenburg - "As a former obese child, teen and young adult I think that THE #1 obstacle that I faced was horrible advice.  The most counterproductive advice was "eat less and exercise more.'"