The mystery of the Penis Mushroom: Phallic, aphrodisiac, hallucinogenic, entheogenic, and... cursed?

February 23, 11:19 AMSex & Relationships ExaminerSarah Estrella

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Photo by John W. Allen, via Vice

I've written here several times about food and sex, aphrodisiacs, etc., but this story takes the prize: Vice Magazine writer Hamilton Morris' pursuit of the legendary psylocibin "penis mushroom" is one of most fascinating and hilarious pieces of food/sex journalism I've ever seen.

Click here for A Nice, Thick, Uncut 12-Inch Shroom: The Penis Mushroom Blows Us Away

Here's Morris' intro:

There is a mythical shroom that is unlike any other shroom. For, you see, this mushroom looks like a penis—not just a little bit like a penis, as many mushrooms do, but exactly like a penis. Perhaps you’ve heard of it? And although mushrooms usually spring forth from the earth as if from the toes of the gods, the penis mushroom is about as natural as a cocker spaniel. In other words, it’s totally man-made and if it were ever placed in the wild it would die instantly.

So what is this magic little cock-looking guy all about? Where did it come from? Who made it? I recently sought to answer these questions and was met with a dizzying world of magic, lies, and unsolved murder. And I was tripping balls the whole time, too.

In addition to consuming a half-ounce of the phallic shroom in question as part of his research (this is Vice Magazine, after all), Morris traces the spore's history and surrounding web of intrigue back to ethnobotanist Terence McKenna, murdered mycologogist Steven Pollock, the mysterious and elusive Rich Gee, and Professor Fanaticus – author of the PF TEK, a popular guide for would-be shroomers – and to a destroyed collection of rare books Morris refers to as a "druggy Library of Alexandria," ultimately ending up with Penis Envy, a strain that sends Morris and his female friend into a hell of a haze, as photographed by Maggie Lee.

Morris' trippy investigation ends so bizarrely that I wouldn't necessarily recommend anybody endeavor to actually try these, but it sure is one hell of a story: The creation and consumption of the penis mushroom appears to have doomed just about everybody involved in one way or another. Make your own jokes here, people. Morris can't resist either:

The penis mushroom was like nothing I had ever put in my mouth. Each time I bit into it, tiny motes of bitter shroom dust flittered through the air. I gagged trying to get it down.