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Late talkers, helpful anecdotes and when Einstein first spoke
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Maybe you have heard the story about Albert Einstein being a late talker. If your child has a speech delay no doubt you have heard this story many, many times.
Or the inevitable stories about so-and-so's daughter's/brother's/cousin’s son or daughter who didn't start to talk until 4 and then began speaking in full sentences.
As well meaning as all these anecdotes are, and don’t get me wrong, they are well meaning; they really don't help that much and could prolong the natural tendency to deny that there may be anything wrong.
Of course, each child is different and will reach these milestones when it is right for them. But, if a child is not hitting certain language milestones, denial is not going to help either parent or child.
I remember one of our family friends, a nurse, said that my son would just "catch up" with the other kids. At the time it was hugely reassuring and I appreciated her insight. I envisioned a switch just flipping and one day he would just open his mouth and begin to speak. I would dream about it often and looked forward to what he would say.
Later when I took him to see a Speech Pathologist at the UW CHDD and asked if he would ever "catch up", she said, "not without help".
That’s when it hit me, it wouldn't be like a on/off switch. It would take an excruciating amount of repetition, exhaustive creativity and hard work. At times, overwhelmed and a bit resentful of all those anecdotes tossed my way, I saw them as potentially reinforcing denial and a possibly dangerous thing if they delay a parent from seeking help.
If you have concerns, one of the first books that was recommended to me that really helped me answer some of the inevitable questions was The Late Talker by Dr. Marilyn Agin.
An easy to read, little book, it is a comprehensive look at speech milestones and what could be the reasons behind a speech delay. It is full of extensive lists of things to look for and tips on how to coax speech from your child.
Because denial and acceptance are two side of the same coin, it is a painful process and does take time. All those anecdotes won’t hurt if they are kept in perspective. The real issue is YOUR kid and how to help. Arm yourself with good information and surround yourself with people who love you and your child and who can relate to what you are going through.
This book is a good start.
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