A friend of mine writes an Examiner column on friendships, and she wrote two on People Who Need People. She’s 100% correct. It’s rare when someone is completely self-sufficient. We do need each other.
Although being alone is different than being lonely, the two can go hand in hand.
Social isolation seems an almost impossibility in this age of instant connection—cell phones, email, texting. Yet many people are indeed isolated. Some of us feel lonely occasionally while others experience it constantly.
A shy person may feel lonely, and may recognize it as a result of social awkwardness. A gregarious person may have a difficult time being alone at all and might describe that as loneliness.
There’s also a situational loneliness, which my friend also wrote about. We might feel lonely when we’re alone in a new situation, but not when we’re home.
Many innovators have developed programs to connect lonely people. From nursing homes to church halls folks are making connections.
If you find yourself feeling lonely ask yourself if you’re really feeling another emotion instead. Are you scared? Bored? If you are indeed feeling lonely, decide if you want to change something. What about going somewhere you’ll see people you know—church, a meeting, inviting people to your home. Or what about meeting new people—join a club, find a new hobby, go to the mall.
Perhaps you might just have to get used to being alone. Again, a new hobby might pass the time. Watch a few of those movies you’ve wanted to see, or read some books from your stack by the bed. Sometimes just enjoying your own company is a real gift you can give yourself.
If you find yourself feeling lonely all the time you might want to call your local community mental health center to talk about it. Loneliness or social isolation might be a symptom of depression.
Finally, realize that aloneness and loneliness are indeed two different things. My hope for you is that you are never alone unless you wish to be.
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