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Lured to the dark side
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Welcome to the Dark Side
We continue looking at themes in relationship psychology as we move closer to Halloween.
In his Bat Out of Hell II: Back Into Hell album, Meat Loaf sang the words of songsmith par excellence Jim Steinman, "I'd do anything for love, but I won't do that." Unfortunately, many of us do anything for love and find ourselves in all sorts of problems deriving from our attempt to fulfill that Basic Need.
Our problems associated with this are that we make choices to meet our Needs for short-term pleasure and end up sacrificing our long-term happiness. Yes, there is a difference between short-term pleasure and long-term happiness. But don't take my word for it, or even the word of Socrates (who spent quite a lot of time trying to persuade people to make better choices for the long-term good). Take the word of that Master of Masters - Yoda, who reminded us that the path to the Dark Side is quick and easy.
Too many of us are lured to Dark Side relationships that fulfill our Needs at the moment but produce long-term misery. That is, they fulfill our Needs at the moment but sabotage our opportunities to fulfill those same Needs in the long-term, thus leaving us miserable.
Take for example, cheating on a relationship partner. While that may satisfy our Needs at the moment, the horror it creates in our long-term relationships is often irreparable and may only prevent Needs fulfillment later on. Although the Dark Side looks tempting and does indeed fulfill our Needs, it does so only in the present. Like the promise of the Sith, it beckons us with promises of Need fulfillment and then leaves us, ultimately, feeling as headless as Irving's infamous Hessian of Sleepy Hollow (if you will pardon the mixed similes).
Our relationships with others are sacred things and should be treated as such. Use this Halloween holiday season to get a little closer to the ones about whom you care. Share some of yourself with them and LISTEN to them share some of themselves with you. Stop being a shade of a person and solidify you relationships with honest dialogue.
Experiment with life. Nurture those you love.
Ron
I Would Do Anything for Love (But I Won't Do That)
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