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My child was born with a limb difference
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Father with his child. David Niblack
"Does he have all ten fingers and toes?" It is such a simple question and, not a question that anyone thinks much about before they ask it. But, when your child is born with a limb difference, the answer to that question does not comes so easily, and it seems to only create more questions. But, I am here to let you know firsthand - your child will be okay - possibly even amazing. You will look at life differently than you ever did before - as if seeing it through different eyes.
Whether you are prepared for the birth of your child with a limb difference or not, strong feelings will burst forth and it is normal for you to have questions. "How will she tie her shoes?" "How will he play baseball?" "Why us?" "What did we do wrong?" With all these questions it is a good idea to develop a support network. The tears will flow easily in the beginning and that is perfectly normal because before you know it, the tears will slow and you will realize that you are going to be your child's strongest advocate. You have to teach him to live in your world - a world meant for two arms and hands, and two legs and feet.
Almost everything you take for granted will challenge your child. But your child will figure it out - they don't have a choice. He may have to do things a little differently, but they will find a way to beat the challenge. If you had asked me 14 years ago if my son born with no left hand would be playing basketball as an 8th grader - I would have told you I don't think so. Much to my amazement, my 14 year old son was a starter on his 7th grade basketball team, attends NBC basketball camps - and plays football too. I learned early on - don't ever tell a child with a limb difference they can't do something - they will prove you wrong.
As your child grows up, you will find yourself faced with the decision of getting a prosthesis for your child. Your child will make this decision for you - because some children do well with prostheses and other choose to not use them. Your child will also have other children and adults look at him funny and say mean things. These things will hurt you as much as your child. So it will be up to you to dry everyone's tears and face the world with your heads held up high. And, believe it or not, your child will inspire you and lift you to heights you never thought possible.
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