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Like Mookie used to say, it's in the shoes
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Opening Day at Met's CitiField?
Let's face it. Who hasn't wanted to throw a shoe at George W. Bush?
In the aftermath of the flying shoes incident at Sunday's Baghdad press conference, where Egyptian "journalist" Muntathar al Zaidi flung both of his nasty, nasty sandals at the head of Dubya, many questions remain.
Where was the Secret Service? An Iraqi journalist tackled al Zaidi,not the President's detail. By the time he reached Bush, his bodyguard looked more like an extra in a spaghetti western barroom brawl waiting for the next chair to be thrown his way, than a Secret Service dude.
How did this guy get in to the room? Who was checking credentials? I've seen tighter security at a Depeche Mode concert at Madison Square Garden.
What does it say about Bush that he simply does not understand the enormity of this shoe "bomber's" insult? To throw a shoe, moreover two shoes at someone, is about as low an affront in the Arab world as not finishing that last plate of mashed taters at a Bush barbecue!
You gotta hand it to ol' 43 though. He sure looked cool while ducking the size 10 projectiles. It made me think of Ronald Reagan who, after getting shot by John Hinckley, told wife Nancy, "Honey, I forgot to duck." Dubya has obviously been working with the Swedish Ball on his core. Mission Accomplished!
The biggest question, though, seems to be what to do with al Zaidi. He's locked up in an Iraqi prison while the Shiite maniacs burn flags in the streets of Iraqi cities - a reminder of what the hell were we doing there in the first place? Well, I have a solution.
Sell him to the New York Mets! That's right! Did you see the arm on this guy? His form is perfect; the curve followed by the spitter were not only both in the strike zone, but a brilliant choice of mixing pitches. He obviously can perform under pressure. Can we say the same for Ollie Perez or Billy Wagner? I'm sure our Mets Examiner would agree that the Mets rotation is a little soft in middle.
Give Muntathar a contract. Bring him to Spring Training. Look, Fidel Castro readily admits that if he would have made it to the Big Leagues, he probably would have forgotten all about that silly revolution.
Nothing else has worked in Iraq...why not try a little baseball diplomacy? As luck would have it, the pitcher's mound at CitiField faces east, so al Zaidi will feel right at home.
And imagine the press conferences!
How much fun would it be to watch Keith Hernandez have to duck a pair of spikes once in awhile?
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