Make more girlfriends in Los Angeles

January 10, 9:35 AMLA Social ExaminerShannon Marie

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Grind down your own claws before you criticize another's

"Women are catty."

How many times have you heard that excuse when a woman attempts to justify having more male friends than female?

It's a classic cop-out, if I ever heard one.

Through experience, I have come to learn that the very women who parade that excuse are usually the "cattiest" of them all.  The one who is the most quick to call another a "whore," carries a hint of jealousy for the free-spirit whom she openly loathes.  And the damsel who will not hesitate to call another a "bitch," likely lacks some class herself.

Truth is, women are wonderful, and I think every woman in LA can use a few more girlfriends.  If it seems like an impossible feat, then perhaps one should start with oneself.

Time and time again, I observe groups of women while I'm out painting the town.  There's the group whom you can tell are simply the female dates of a group of men.  Why do they get along so well?  Because they each have a man linked to their arm.  There's no competition there.

Then there is the group whom you can spot who the head honcho is, while the rest are minions who feed her ego.  Why do they get along so well?  Because each side provides a false sense of acceptance.

Can't forget the group of women who relentlessly gyrate, hump, and provide lapdances for one another.  Why do they get along so well?  Because they are all starving for attention.

That's all fine and dandy -- for a while.  Either way, it's not organic.  You can't get too far with a temporary state of reassurance.

It is not to say that any self-proclaimed "normal" woman cannot make friends with any of the above.  It is that very barrier -- the one of quick judgment -- that draws up the bridges.

I myself have more male friends than I do female friends.  However, I do not credit it to women being "catty."  It is for the simple reasoning that men either 1) Admire me, 2) Accept me as I am, and/or 3) Have no interest in competing with me.  Nonetheless, if you've met my girlfriends, you'll find that they are the best in the land because we are real with eachother.  More importantly, they too are justified by that same simple reasoning.

The moment that a woman feels the dark glare of judgment, or the unwelcome challenge of competition, the claws come out.

Try opening up and being genuine, whether it's a compliment or small talk while waiting for the bartender.  Friendly women are drawn to other friendly women.  Walking around skeptical of other women will only attract more skeptical women.  I think every woman has an element of good nature, just as much as she has distrust.  Put forth your good nature first, and notice the immediate difference in other women who surround you.

You will be surprised at how addictive and attractive a genuine smile is.  Master this, and you can skip every lesson in Charm School.  You've graduated!