Romance 101: How to resolve conflicts in your relationships at the speed of thought (videos)

November 3, 10:42 PMPhiladelphia Romance ExaminerGina Alzate

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In this segment of our Law of Attraction series of Romance 101, we explore ways to resolve conflicts in our relationships at the speed of thought.  Conflicts arise when two people have the need to be right and feel justified regardless of how another person feels or thinks about the situation.  Each of us has a position and an interest regarding the issue at hand.  When we do not understand what the other person's position and interests are, we feed fuel into the fire of disagreement. 

However, it takes two to be in conflict, and one can choose to move away from the confrontation to gain clarity.  If both people face one another toe to toe, they place themselves in fighting positions.  But if one of them move alongside the other so now they are looking towards the same direction, they could begin dialogue to understand one another's position and interest.  They might discover that they have been fighting about dissimilar positions and interests all along.  An accompanying strategy is to allow time to give themselves space for clarity of thought and reasoning skills to return when emotions subside.

When we are loving towards ourselves and loved one, we look for ways to understand the source of irritation, the reasons why we feel the need to engage in a fight or flight response, and move towards achieving an amiable resolution.  Conflicts indicate a problem exists that requires solutions.  They also exist due to divergent points of views and beliefs, values and preferences.  When one or both people insist on engaging in wanting to control the situation for both, then the conflict escalates to power struggle.  Yet, it still takes two to continue a tug-o-war of judgments.  Otherwise, there would be no resistance and no need for increased energy exertion.  If one removes himself or herself from the site of conflict even momentarily, there is no audience to boast any perceived superiority upon the other. 

To resolve conflicts in your relationships at the speed of thought, the change has to come from you.  Stop feeding fuel into the fire with your own energy.  Give yourselves time to calm down and allow your thoughts to process the situation peacefully.  Allow love in your thoughts and feelings, and in how you see the situation.  Send love to your loved one.  Be more loving in your interactions with your loved one, and forgive yourself and others for your contributions to the conflict.  Stay in neutral ground.  Find more pleasant activities to think about and proceed to engage them.  Smile and uplift your own spirits.  Refrain from replaying the conflict in your mind.  Instead, visualize what preferred outcomes would you rather experience with your loved one regarding the issue. 

When logic is engaged and emotions are disengaged, you might find a path to solutions and resolutions.  Remember, all conflicts serve a learning point, a purpose.  Find the deeper purpose.  All problems have a solution or two.  Seek those possibilities.  Be willing to reconcile and reconnect with your loved one. Remember what is truly important in your relationship. In the end, our environment and our relationships are mirrors of our own relationship with ourselves.  They serve to reflect to us our own unfulfilled desires and needs, our areas of needed growth and development. 

The ultimate question then is "If you and your loved one have only today to live, would you spend your precious time engaged in this conflict? What would you do to resolve it quickly?"

Romance 101: Law of Attraction series

Would you like more love, sex and fun? Create positive expectations in your relationships (Part 1/2)

Would you like more love, sex and fun? Create positive expectations in your relationships. (Part 2/2)

Romance 101:  How to attract love and romance in your life? (Part 1/2 - videos)

Romance 101:  How to attract love and romance in your life? (Part 2/2 - videos)

Romance 101: Do soulmates exist? How do I know that I have found my soulmate? (audios)

Romance 101: How to create a vision or dream board to attract love and romance (videos)

By Gina Alzate, who is also the National Holistic Travel Examiner and the National Interracial Relationship  Examiner.  She is a Travel Consultant and Cruise Planner with World Tours and Cruises, and she leads holistic and metaphysical workshops with Holistic Life Designs.

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