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Preparing yourself to go out on a date with a new guy or gal can be intimidating. Choosing an outfit may take an entire day. Should I wear a skirt above the knee or below? Should I wear the blue tie or the black? We attempt to memorize conversation topics in our minds to avoid any awkward silences. There are an infinite number of interesting subjects to discuss over dinner and drinks. You can chit chat about favorite places to visit, hobbies, books, movies, art, or even the possibility of extraterrestrial life! Are there any topics that should not be discussed? Most definitely, below are suggestions on what conversations to avoid.
Religion/politics
Never discuss political or religious affiliations on a first, second, third, or even fourth date. A person’s character is not determined by a few particular views. Your companion may become distracted by views that differ from their own. An otherwise perfect pairing might never have the opportunity to find out just how much they do have in common.
Idiosyncrasies
Your Star Wars collection is the largest in the country, and you are extremely proud. Great, I probably would not share this information with someone I am not well acquainted. Only fellow collectors will be able to appreciate your dedication. Your announcement will probably create an uncomfortable quiet between the both of you. The other person will not have anything to contribute to the conversation. It is always a good idea to be inclusive when talking to someone other than you.
Money
Never ever ask your date how much money they bring home, or tell them your salary. Discussing money is not classy, and it does not provide useful information. For example, Steve brings home a hundred thousand a year after taxes. He always takes you to the best restaurants, and your dates are simply Hollywood caliber. Steve neglects to tell you he has a lot of debt and will file bankruptcy. Brian on the other hand, takes home half of what Steve earns. However, he lives beneath his means and is practically debt free. Money management is much more important than actual earnings.
Ailments
My lower back bothers me when I stand too long. I get this little persistent ache that goes on for what seems like an eternity. Did you really need to know that about me? No, my husband has no idea and we have known each other for 12 years. I am not advising you to hide real medical conditions from someone you are seriously dating, because you need to know if they can handle it. On the other hand, your big toe only hurting on a rainy day is something that can remain between you and the toe.
Exes
We all have at least one ex girlfriend or boyfriend somewhere. The person sitting across from you is interested in you and not your former romances. He or she wants to hear all about your interests. Life is short, let’s not bore him or her with an irrelevant subject.
Present is best
You had an above average date and you are looking forward to the next. I would not invite him or her to next Christmas dinner with your family in January. A friend of mine once went out with a guy that invited her to accompany him to his sister's wedding the next day. He also asked if he could take a picture of her to brag to his friends. Future plans with someone you are getting to know is presumptuous, desperate, and downright scary.
Remember, the search for the right person can be positively exciting if we keep a few things in mind when courting a possible Mr. or Mrs. Right!
Ask a question or leave a comment at simonedupree@gmail.com
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