'Bride Wars': No marriage, no romance, just the wedding biz

January 9, 5:52 AMPhiladelphia Marriage ExaminerAnn Keeler Evans

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Claire Folger/ 20th Century Fox

Wedding Priestess doesn't get it. Why is this funny? And why aren't the weddings about the marriages? Why can't women's friendships be meaningful? Why would anyone's friends and families go to either of their weddings? And, perhaps of not as great importance, but of equal interest… how does the school teacher pay for a wedding at the premier NYC hotel?

I know, Bride Wars is just a silly movie. But there are a bunch of really dangerous and btw, out-of-date, stereotypes.

1. Men are extraneous to wedding planning and weddings. Men are excited to be engaged and to be marrying the woman of their dreams. Weddings are not the purview of brides anymore. So last century! Check out Samuel Johnson's article: Wedding Planning for Men on Helium.com.
2. Weddings are not about marriages and wedding ceremonies. Is this why we're having a problem with divorce in this country? Everyone wants to get married but no one thinks that has anything to do with being married? Well, actually no. Real wedding couples, ones who are looking forward to living happily and healthily ever after, are creating their weddings around their extraordinary relationships.
3. Women's lives are about competition for the fabulously frivolous. We've all heard horror stories. After 1,000 weddings I've seen horror stories – probably at least 3 or 4. But mostly, bridesmaids are so excited for their friend. They throw showers and listen endlessly and do all sorts of ridiculous tasks for their friends. Brides lend total stranger brides their tiaras.
4. Movies are a good model for weddings. HA! This movie isn't even a good model for a movie! (Although everyone agrees that Anne Hathaway has great eyes and is a decent actor. Great décor on the Titanic didn't save it, did it?) The NY Times panned it. The Washington Post panned it. Of course the Philadelphia Inquirer's Carrie Rickey had the best headline: "Winsome twosome turns gruesome" (Yeah, that was a pan, but you can see the trailer there!) Everyone agreed the two should have married one another and solved the problem, but hey, same sex marriages are illegal! (Although it's true, watching this movie might make you wonder why ANYONE wants to get married if you have to have a wedding like these!)
5. Women moviegoers will see anything. You know, the economy is tough, you're saving for your wedding, why not go for a romantic stroll around town with your beloved, hold hands, find new places to steal kisses and remember why YOU're getting married. You can go to the movies when there's something fun to see.

This is not one more way to move from "I do" to happily and healthily ever after.

(Remember, I need your help to keep this column current, sassy and useful. Write to me with Philadelphia wedding venues, products and services to explore. Put The Wedding Priestess in the subject line.)