Marriage for Black women: why it's hard, why it's important

October 11, 9:17 PMPhiladelphia Marriage ExaminerAnn Keeler Evans

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You deserve your dreams. Beautiful bridal photo.

In a recent Washington Post article, it was reported that Eleanor Norton Holmes has been tracking the low marriage rates for black women. Today 70% of black children are born outside of marriage. Children raised with two parents have better success rates than children raised with one. While marriage today is largely about companionship, it still is greatly concerned with raising the next generation. Children without the model for being in relationship will not develop the skills to enter into relationship themselves.

Speaking at a recent conference entitled "Single Women, Unmarried Men, What has happened to marriage in the Black Community?" she said, "For the first time, young black women cannot necessarily look forward to marriage as the next natural state of life," Norton said. "They are finding themselves without comparable mates."

To that point, Audrey Chapman, radio host and couples counselor, told the audience she believes black women need what she calls a "rainbow coalition" approach to dating beyond their race. "We're the only group of people who are devoted to a group of people who aren't devoted to us," she said.

This offers Black women a very small pool of marriageable men. Holmes is dedicated to continuing the conversation.

Linda Malone-Colon's goals are more concrete. Malone-Colon, chairwoman of Hampton University's psychology department, intends for the National Center on African American Marriages and Parenting to become a clearinghouse for research on marriage in the black community and a resource for organizations looking to get involved with the issue.

What do you think? Knowing that stable marriages build stable communities which in turn encourage stable marriages, encouragement is needed to keep marriage and society moving toward stability. If marriage is what you want, what's the best way to get yourself moving in the right direction towards "I do" and happily and healthily ever after?