Sensual skills workshops with Kiovanna

November 8, 4:02 PMNY Women's Issues ExaminerEmily Brandt

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Kiovanna Rodriguez of East Techniques in downtown Manhattan is a genius.  Her accomplishments include earning a Psych degree from Stanford and a Law degree from Columbia, learning the ancient teachings of Tantra in India, being ordained as an Interfaith Minister, and becoming a Reiki Master and certified Yoga instructor.  So what is she doing with herself now?  Counseling women, men, and couples in the art of sensuality through the business that she founded.

East Techniques offers women “teachings in sensual skills and intimacy in an estimable corporate environment.”  According to the mission statement, their “purpose is to empower women by enhancing their sensuality and awareness.” 

Much of this empowerment happens through personal consultation sessions and through group classes, generally cofacilitated by Kiovanna and her partner Cheya, such as “Sexual Empowerment and Loving Touch” where clients learn to find their “womanly power of choice, and bring freedom and playfulness back into the bedroom.”  Classes like this, and sensual skills for the self or advanced sensual skills, balance the art of giving generously with your heart and body and answering your “sacred selfishness” to get exactly what you want.  Kiovanna is there to talk with women about what they want and how to get it, about what feels good and what doesn't. These workshops instruct clients on the nuances of sexuality, always with a focus on the principle that sensual energy is about sharing, being present in the moment – not just "I do for you, you do for me." 

Breathwork is one of the most important workshops, says Kiovanna.  In the advanced sensual skills class, which at times has an anatomy class vibe, clients learn things like the art of sensual stimulation using the hands.  The workshop covers all the bases, from getting to know each other and hand holding to kissing to full intercourse.  When women have "stronger skill sets and greater confidence," Kiovanna finds that they are more willing and able to encourage their men to improve in the bedroom and are more willing and able to ask for exactly what they want. 

For Kiovanna, the biggest "ah-ha moments" in teaching come when she helps clients learn to rethink sex as a goal, and then open up more.  When working with couples, she instructs men in ways to ask for permission to touch, working to build an understanding that permission "shoudn't be a given." And if his partner says "no," Kiovanna helps him to understand it is not a rejection of him.  She offers loving and gentle instruction on how to touch women's most sacred part of the body. "It's all worth it" in those moments when there's a breakthrough in communication.

The workshops are based on tantric practices.  According to Kiovanna, tantra is a philosophical way of living life to its fullest, of experiencing everything with full awareness and consciousness.  While it includes sexual practices, tantra is certainly not limited to sexuality. When it comes to sexuality, tantra embodies practices and techniques that encourage one to experience heightened states of consciousness through directed sexual energy.  It calls "for no shame, for full positivity, for saying yes to life!"

There being a lot of services in tantra for men, Kiovanna wanted to focus on women.  According to her, women aren’t as quick to go online for sexuality workshops as men are, and women are slower to call for “sensual body work”.  Men respond to body work and seek it widely, which is why there are so many “happy ending” body work venues in the city.

I asked Kiovanna for a tantra tip for beginners and she immediately responded, “the deeper the breath, the deeper the pleasure.”  She advises to pay attention to how you're breathing as you’re in the moment. As you’re climaxing, if you’re holding your breath you're limiting your pleasure.  Let go of expectations; it’s not a performance. It’s about experiencing each other in the moment – the touch, the scent, the breath.  Letting go of orgasm expectation can free up a lot of people.  Kiovanna advises to have fun and be gentle with yourself.  “We’re ore own harshest critics” and we're not performing in front of a panel of judges.  For some women it's hard to draw the boundary in the bedroom, but it can be done with practice and setting intentions – lighting candles, turning off phones, and turning awareness to the breath. 

Most women who come to Kiovanna's workshops are frustrated or bored with the dating life and the corporate scene of Thursday night happy hours.  They want to feel sexy again. They want to find their sexual power and break out of what feels safe or good. They want to reach for the spicy.  They are seeking “empowerment, a little spice—some pepper!”