Fruit from the Underground: the durian

December 17, 8:40 AMUnderground ExaminerDylan Otto Krider

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The durian: not recommended

For the truly adventurous, eating a Durian is something like the old joke, “This tastes horrible! –try it!” Like most exotic local fares, the Durian is rumored to be an aphrodisiac. If you don’t know where to find a local vendor, just follow your nose, because the fruit smells something like a week old dirty clothes hamper in the high school gym.

When ripe, Durians fall from the trees, and believe me, you wouldn’t want to be underneath one when it does. A Durian is about the size of a football, with a hard shell and spikes like a morning star mace. You’re vendor will be happy to pry one open with a machete, revealing cavities that hold the fruit that looks something like seeds encapsulated in sausage skins filled with banana mush, and tastes somewhat similar.

It’s difficult to describe the experience as enjoyable, but it is something you have to do once. Just don’t freak out if the vendor tells you not to drink alcohol for a few hours because you might die. This comes from a local belief in not mixing “hot” and “cold” items. You’ll know it’s a superstition, but you probably won’t order any beers for 24 hours just to be safe.

The fruit can actually be found in the States. You can find an entire cooler filled to the brim with these things in the Asian market in Denver, and they even sell durian flavored snacks, which I don't understand.