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Parents rush to abandon teenagers

November 14, 10:42 AMUnderground ExaminerDylan Otto Krider
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In another cautionary reminder of the imutable Law of Unintended Consequences, according to the Denver Post, Nebraska's safe haven law has led to a flurry of abandoned teenagers.

At first, it sounds like a good idea -- rather than dumping an unwanted infant into the Dumpster, an unexpected mother may simply drop off thier newborn at the local hospital, no questions asked, kind of like those amnesty days for overdue books at the library. Much to the State's surprise, however, unwanted teenagers started getting kicked to the curbside at the steadly clip of about three a week, some parents even traveling in from out of state to rid themselves of the hormone-laden youngsters, making their awkward period of life a little more so.

One seventeen year-old fled the Omaha hospital during an attempted drop-off and is now considered a "runaway."

One parent explained that her 18-year-old daughter had become too much trouble after being diagnosed with mental illness from suffering years of abuse and "being left alone with her dead biological mother for a week." So, might as well add abandonment issues to the list.

State legislators are now looking for a way to amend the law. Considering the program's success, here's a suggestion: how about expanding it to include the elderly and infirm?

Nursing homes are expensive, and there are a few parental units we'd like to see left in a hospital parking lot a few years down the line.

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