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Office bullies and other toxic behaviors in the workplace
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So what constitutes bullying in the workplace? The best way to evaluate whether or not someone you are dealing with has a toxic communication style is by plain old ordinary instinct. Feeling anxious, physically unwell, or paranoid after a typical dealing with the aggressor is often symptomatic of an abusive situation. You may instinctively feel that this person has it in for you, but you can’t pinpoint why exactly. Certain toxic behaviors are much more obvious, such as a boss who is verbally abusive, sarcastic, hypercritical of your performance and/or moody.
Often, an office bully will set-up subordinates and coworkers with completely unrealistic expectations, such as excessive communication via email, or voicemail, during personal time. If you have a coworker or boss that uses a Blackberry to communicate with you at all hours, the lack of boundaries may be experienced as harassment, since you are never allowed time to be away from the job. It may be difficult to set boundaries as your lack of willingness to stay plugged in could be misconstrued as lack of motivation or dedication to the job.
Are you being targeted by an office bully? Here’s how to tell:
-The feeling that you are always walking on eggshells. You may at times feel that things are going well, only to have the rug pulled out from under you for seemingly inexplicable reasons. Keeping you off balance, never really understanding the rules of the game is particularly toxic and distressing.
-You feel isolated. Your coworkers are avoiding you and perhaps keeping you out of the loop on critical issues that affect your performance.
So what should you do if you are dealing with an office bully? You need to call the bully out. Ideally, handling the situation on your own and confronting the bully is the best method. If all attempts at dealing with the situation on your own fail, you need to get seek protection from your Human Resources Department. Keep a journal that details scenarios and events that illustrate inappropriate behaviors. You need to be able to readily recall specific instances and situations, and articulate the problem. If you have a counselor, or an Employee Assistance Program Available to you, enlist their help. You will need to do some problem solving, ventilate negative feelings, and role play outcomes if helpful. Above all, know that it isn’t you. Generally, individuals experiencing workplace aggression have done nothing to warrant the abuse.
Leslie Miller, LICSW
http://www.therapyontheweb.org
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