'Top Chef' episode 10 recap

January 29, 12:27 PMTop Chef ExaminerMatt Wolf

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And the female fans weep... no more Jeff

What a night for Carla. Not only did she win the elimination competition, not only did she finally perform well during a quickfire, but she successfully encapsulated the entire episode only ten minutes in, saying of Jeff's cooking style, "Jeff can't harness the creative monkeys." After nine recaps, I haven't said anything that succinct. 

Jeff continued his tendency of trying to put too much on a plate without fully concentrating on flavor, thus saving Fabio from the guillotine after he overcooked his venison. Jeff is very talented and is likely to find huge success in the culinary world, but he's not the first top-notch chef  to get the ax well before the finale. This happens every season (Jennifer would be Season 4's example), and this year, I had a feeling that it would happen to Jeff. He shot the moon with almost every dish that he cooked (just check out this recipe and remember that he pulled it off in twenty minutes), and when you walk that tightrope, it's hard not to fall off eventually.

After the Quaker Oats quickfire was won by the streaking Stefan with his Banana Oatmeal Mousse with Almond Crisp, the "Top Chef Bowl" was underway with Season 5's contestants taking on seven different chefs from seasons past. Most notable of these was of course the beloved Andrew D'Ambrossi, who immediately spouted this gem: "Dear Season 5, if you don't bring your A game, you're gonna get f*%#'in stomped, and I'm gonna pee on your bodies." Brilliant - I knew something was missing this year.

In the head-to-head matchups, the two Season 5 chefs that seem to be hanging on by a thread, Leah and Carla, performed well, with Carla's Crayfish and Andouille Gumbo winning the day. Jamie continued her casual brilliance, impressing the hell out of guest judge Scott Conant with her cooking techniques and movements. Hosea continued his coasting by getting an easy matchup with the bizarre Miguel, who should open a restaurant with Season 5's Danny called, "Shortbus."

In the end, three of the best four chefs on the show had to stand together in the loser's circle, the odds of which (according to my Top Chef midseason power poll, and standard mathematical deviations based on cooking probability) are less than 1 in 1,000. Okay, I made that up. It would have been interesting to see what Jeff could've done in a wide-open finale, and it's ironic to see him pack up his knives in the same episode where Carla wins two Super Bowl tickets. If "Top Chef" was predictable, it wouldn't be nearly as fun to watch.