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Doggy humor: A doggy fable—part 2
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Hobo Hudson
By Hobo Hudson. Other dogs, having fled the iron hand of her Highness and meandered through the Internet, had encountered a playground that was open to all dogs. Hearing about it, the two little sisters who had founded their own tiny kingdom after their flight from her Highness’ oppression immediately joined the new group. Whenever they weren’t busy taking care of their own kingdom, they would trot over to the new playground, socializing, relaxing and playing. They met not only many of their old friends but also other dogs they had not known before.
One day, an old and sick dog limped into the playground and collapsed under a tree, unable to run and play with the others. The two little sisters instantly recognized him as their old and dear friend Tanner, loved and respected by the subjects of her Highness’ kingdom.
Quickly, they sprinted to his side and barked, “Tanner, what happened? Why are you here?”
The old dog dolefully hung his head and replied, “I was exiled from the old kingdom for saying something I shouldn’t have said. I don’t really believe it was my fault. I was out of my head with pain and just didn’t know what I was doing. As soon as I realized what I had said, I retracted the statement I made, but it was too late. Her Highness had already heard it, and she showed no mercy.”
The two little sisters were incensed at the injustice and heartlessness befallen their sick friend by the hand of her Highness and promised to right the wrong. They began to bark furiously and, enlisting the aid of dogs with dual citizenship, began a campaign to have Tanner reinstated in her Highness’ kingdom. To their chagrin, all their efforts were in vain. Instead of making concessions, her Highness became more infuriated.
Having experienced failure and humiliation with her first attempt at infiltrating the two little sisters’ kingdom with doggy spies, her Highness knew she had to use a different approach this time. She came up with the idea of hiring two cloned human beauties to walk into the doggy playground and simply watch the activity.
Soon, dogs became suspicious and asked questions. The clones always came back with ambiguous answers. When asked how many dogs they owned, they said they weren’t sure. When asked how they had heard of the playground, they said they didn’t know. They even didn’t know if they were subjects of any other kingdoms.
Becoming more and more aggravated by having once again to confront secrecy and uncertainty, some dogs bristled and flashed their teeth, and other dogs gave out nasty barks as the two human clones simply stood and watched.
The two little sisters, observing the upheaval, looked at each other. Simultaneously, they became aware of their own kingdom’s risk of experiencing the same fate because they had invited all dogs to enter their kingdom without proof of their good intentions. To find a secure place, safe from ruffians and prowlers, they began sniffing around the Internet and in no time, located another small kingdom for sale at a reasonable price.
As soon as the two little sisters completed the purchase, they placed a guard dog at the gate with instructions not to let any dog in without their permission. Rather than hurt some good dogs’ feelings, they decided not to broadcast the location of their new kingdom but, rather, to quietly whisper about it to select dogs they knew would be loyal followers.
Tanner, trying desperately and as hard as he could to limp to the new kingdom, didn’t have enough strength left and remained where he had fallen. Upon hearing about Tanner’s doom, the dogs of the new kingdom proceeded to raise an army to avenge her Highness’ affront against Tanner. The two little sisters named the new-born army the Tanner Brigade in honor of their friend.
Hastily calling a meeting to arrange a battle strategy, the two little sisters set a plan in motion for an assault on her Highness’ kingdom during the night. Secretly, they slipped into the castle while her Highness was sleeping and exchanged the photos of all her Highness’ subjects on the walls with photos of Tanner.
When her Highness woke up the next morning and opened her eyes, Tanner was staring at her from every corner and section of the castle. Dizzy and confused, she ran weeping and wailing back into her daddy’s arms.
After the two little sisters had returned to their own castle, they contemplated the situation. The older sister said, “Now that we’ve gotten even, let’s write a letter to the computer geek and propose a truce.”
Getting out pencil and paper, she wrote: “Dear Geek. Now that we have gotten even for the dirty thing you did to Tanner, we’d like to propose a truce. We’ll quit attacking you if you keep your spies out of our playgrounds and leave us alone so that we can play in peace. Please answer at your earliest convenience.”
A few days later, the two sisters watched from the turret as a letter carrier placed an envelope into their mailbox, and they eagerly trotted down to the gate to fetch it. Tearing it open, they found the following message: “That’s Mister Geek to you! What in the world did you do to my little paper dog? She’s been sitting in my lap crying so much that all her ink has run off and has ruined my pants. A truce with you, never! Forchunitely [sic] my kingdom is huge, and I’m going to raise my own army and tear your castle down!”
“Gee,” the younger sister yapped. “I think the geek is mad at us. What are we going to do now?”
Reassuringly, the older sister replied, “Don’t forget I’m an attorney. I’m going to sue the geek and make him let us back into his kingdom. That way, we can keep on needling her Highness until she leaves us alone.”
The older sister quickly prepared the paperwork and filed it at the courthouse. She was lucky to have a famous judge assigned to hear the case, and many dogs showed up at the legendary trial. Nevertheless, the sisters’ efforts were for naught because the judge ruled the geek could do whatever he wanted with his own kingdom.
Stay tuned for updates as events unfold.
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