The ABC's of Business Etiquette

October 23, 3:53 PMRichmond Small Business ExaminerChris LaPara

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It’s no secret that most forms of social behavior in the U.S. have become more casual over the last 20 years. Ironically, one of the last arenas where etiquette still matters and following specific protocols is still important is business.

But business etiquette is rarely actually “taught” anymore. Executives and salespeople, who regularly meet with other business people and clients, are left to figure it all out without corporate preparation. We’ve all heard about how much business is conducted on the golf course. We don’t always hear about business lost because someone just didn’t know how to behave. And manners are only a part of it. I once directly witnessed a salesperson taken to task by a client because the salesperson hadn’t shaved for the client meeting. Sounds petty, you’re thinking. How petty is it that the salesperson didn’t get the business because in his own cultural context, sporting a little stubble was considered cool? Clearly, his context wasn’t the one that mattered.

To find out more about business etiquette, I met with Sylvia Fine of Richmond, VA, who has trained hundreds of business people for 20 years on acceptable business etiquette. Here are the highlights of our conversation.

Richmond Small Business Examiner (RSBE): What first got you interested in training business etiquette?

Fine:  In working with new Financial Advisors, I saw firsthand how little traditional common courtesies and practices were followed. And I’m not talking about just table manners, which have eroded in certain age segments due to the popularity of fast food, which is eaten quickly and usually with the hands only. I’m referring to handshakes, making small talk. personal space, cell phone management, and much more.

RSBE: Then how do you define “business etiquette”?

Fine:  It’s general etiquette practiced in a business setting. A good way to remember what comes under the banner of etiquette is ABC—attitude, behavior, culture.

 Attitude refers to one’s demeanor and approach to other people. In a business setting, do you stay positive, relate to the other parties as valued peers, and foster beneficial outcomes? In doing business, money is going to change hands. It should be a positive, even pleasant, experience.

        Behavior does involve being polite and civil and proper. It includes knowing to whom to extend a hand for a handshake (e.g. man-to-man or woman-to-woman, either party may extend a hand first. Man-to-women, the man should wait for the woman to extend a hand first). Door-opening has become a hot potato, causing much confusion. A simple guideline is for the person “hosting” the other, to open for the “guest.”

       Eye-contact is behavior that indicates that you are paying attention to the other party. For the same reason, turn off your cell phone and don’t sneak looks at your Blackberry under the table.

       In conversation stay away from the sensitive topics: politics, religion, and sexual matters.

       Showing a willingness to serve is behavior that scores business points because it defers to the other, a traditional virtue of proper etiquette in general.

       Being aware of the culture that is observed in the location of the meeting also helps to make the other parties feel more comfortable, which is the goal of etiquette. Regional customs are important. A longer period of small talk is expected more in southern settings than in northern.   Rate of speech is another consideration. Formality of attire can vary from one end of a state to the other. So be aware of the local mores and customs.

RSBE: What is the worst faux pas you have observed recently in a business  setting?

Fine: I attended a business meeting where the meeting leader placed a cell phone on the table, leaving the phone in vibrate mode. Sure enough, in the middle of the meeting, it began to vibrate and dance all over the tabletop. This faux pas communicated two negative points: The leader was careless; and placed a higher priority on the device than on the real people around the table. Not a good message to the people whose buy-in the leader needed.

RSBE:  What’s the worst business outcome you ever saw as a result of a breach of etiquette?

Fine: I saw a salesperson direct all his business conversation to the husband of a couple, ignoring the wife. The couple did not buy from that salesperson and would not give any future business to that company.

        Remember one thing: all business is earned by first building trust. The best way to begin to demonstrate that you are a trustworthy business person is by exhibiting that you know how to treat people—by dressing appropriately, being properly groomed, and being polite.

RSBE:  We’ve only scratched the surface here. Where can business people learn more about business etiquette?

Fine:  For years the Bible on etiquette of all kinds has been Letitia Baldridge’s books. Readers can google her.

RBSE: Any parting words?

Fine:  In any business transaction, the first sale is yourself. Following correct business etiquette is a great sales tool.

RSBE: Thanks, Sylvia.

If you or your company is interested in learning more about Business Etiquette Training, Sylvia Fine can be reached through this column by clicking here. Please type Business Etiquette in the subject line.