Royal Rumble: The Royal Rumble match

January 25, 10:50 PMPro Wrestling ExaminerMark Satrang

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It’s now time for the main event of the evening, the always-entertaining 30-man Royal Rumble match. So far only 23 of the 30 participants have bee announced so the match will be fun just for the surprises.

Rey Mysterio draws #1. World Tag Team Champion John Morrison is #2. They battle until WWE Tag Team Champion Carlito joins the match. Montel Vontavious Porter (MVP) comes out as the fourth entrant. He is first of the seven unannounced participants, but not a surprise. It’s four really talented athletes in the ring right now. Next out is the 7’3, 420 lbs. Great Khali. He beats the hell out of all four the smaller opponents until the big Russian Vladimir Kozlov comes out as number six. He and Khali battle like two bulls in the middle of the ring until Kozlov eliminates the giant Khali. He then throws MVP to the floor as well. Seconds later Kozlov also eliminates Carlito.

Triple H draws #7, one of the true main event guys in the match. He and Kozlov lock eyes and brawl like a new age Rocky versus Drago. Then a minute later, HHH eliminates Kozlov. I don’t remember Rocky versus Drago happening that quickly. Next out is Randy Orton, another legit main eventer and my pick to win the match. Number nine is JTG of Cryme Tyme, the second unannounced participant. He and Cryme Tyme partner Shad flipped a coin to see which one of their tag team would compete in the match, and JTG obviously won the flip. Following him is Ted DiBiase, a cohort of Randy Orton’s, which makes an even six men in the ring.

Eleven is Chris Jericho, another legit pick to win the match. There have been a lot of “near eliminations” and demonstrations of feet dangling perilously close to the floor without touching. Next out is Mike Knox, the third unannounced guy and the current rival of Rey Mysterio. Not surpisingly he goes right for Mysterio. Lucky number 13 is "The Miz" of MTV fame, and the current World Tag Team Championship partner of John Morrison. The crowd is really filling up, and it’s mostly villains as only HHH, Mysterio and JTG are considered heroes. Then just like that HHH eliminates both Miz and Morrison to clear out the ring a little bit. The next guy out is the Irishman Finlay.  He is followed shortly after by Cody Rhodes, the teammate of Orton and DiBiase.

“Business really picks up” when The Undertaker comes out as #16. The ring stops and awaits his arrival. As soon as he enters he dumps JTG. Then Goldust is 17, and is the fourth unannounced guy. He immediately fights with his real life little brother Cody Rhodes. After a quick brawl, Cody eliminates his big brother. WWE Intercontinental Champion CM Punk is #18 but doesn't add much to the match, and is followed quickly after by 400 lbs. former Olympic weightlifter Mark Henry. He too just takes up space until number 20, United States Champion Shelton Benjamin, hits the ring. The ring is really filling up with bodies.

It’s now time for the final ten participants as William Regal enters and goes right after his main rival CM Punk. Mark Henry was eliminated off camera by Rey Mysterio while Regal entered the match. The match continues with the high-flying Jamaican Kofi Kingston. There are really too many guys in the ring right now and some dead wood needs to be cleaned out. Sure enough as I say that, Undertaker eliminates Shelton Benjamin. Next up is another legit main event guy in Kane. With Kane, Undertaker, Jericho, Orton, Mysterio and Triple H all in the ring there’s a lot of star power. Kane and his storyline brother Undertaker double-team DiBiase. Mysterio has now been in the match for over 30 minutes already. As I type that Punk eliminates his rival William Regal. Number 24 is R-Truth, who adds nothing to the match.

Next out is a true legit surprise in Rob Van Dam, a Michigan native who hasn’t worked for WWE full-time since June 2007. The hometown crowd is going crazy for RVD. His appearance really woke up the crowd. It’s great to see him once again. He’s followed out The Brian Kendrick. He immediately makes an impact and dumps Kofi. Then HHH dumps Kendrick immediately thereafter. Talk about a quick payday. Number 27 is Dolph Ziggler, and not surprisingly he gets eliminated by Kane in about ten seconds. Santino Marella runs out as 28, but gets greeted by Kane and eliminated in record time. That was some great comedy right there. Number 29 is Hacksaw Jim Duggan, and he comes to a great pop. Crowd goes crazy for him. Now that all the comedy entrants have entered, it is obvious that the final entrant is the near 500 lbs. Big Show.

The roster stops and awaits his arrival. Fourteen mn are left at this point, which is way too many for this late in the match.  He and Undertake face off until Kane attacks Show. Show eliminates Duggan to the crowd’s disapproval.  Show military presses Truth out of the ring and then gets rid of Punk as it’s obvious the big man is being portrayed as the new favorite. Off-camera, Mysterio and Knox eliminates each other. Finlay’s "leprechaun" son Hornswoggle runs in the ring to help his dad (I wish I was also making that up), but Kane gets rid of Finlay. It’s announced Mysterio lasted 49 minutes in the match. Jericho dumps RVD to a chorus of boos. Undertaker responds by throwing out Jericho. On the other side of the ring, Orton, DiBiase and Rhodes all team up to toss Kane

The match is down to six, as "The Legacy" of Orton, Rhodes & DiBiase are left with Big Show, HHH and Undertaker. Everyone in the ring is down as Undertaker and Big Show brawl like Godzilla and King Kong. Orton then sneaks up and eliminates Big Show as he and Undertaker brawled. Show then responds by pulling out Undertaker. The two monsters brawl through the crowd.

The final four is Triple H against The Legacy. Not surprisingly the three villains triple team HHH. Triple H fights back and tosses both DiBiase and Rhodes quickly, and then Orton sneaks up to toss HHH in quick fashion.

Orton is your winner and WrestleMania main eventer, as I predicted.

It was a great match as it always is, but I must say I was a little disappointed by the lack of surprises. I figured there might have been a couple of surprise returns and perhaps an entrance from Shawn Michaels, but it became obvious that the story of the match would be Randy Orton’s domination.