Part III: Child abuse: protection from, prevention of and prosecution for

March 2, 10:35 AMDallas Parenting ExaminerChristy Coffman

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Surviving child abuse

One thing that most child abuse victims have in common is that they blame themselves for the abuse inflicted upon them. They feel guilty and they feel ashamed. Most don’t want to tell anyone about the abuse because they think they either won’t be believed or that they’ll be blamed for the abuse itself.

Child abuse that results in death makes the headlines more than those that don’t. While the abuse these children receive is not fatal, it is deeply scarring and will effect these “survivors” for the rest of their lives. For those who survive, the emotional trauma remains long after the external bruises have healed. Communities and the courts recognize that these emotional “hidden bruises” can be treated. Early recognition and treatment is important to minimize the long term effect of physical abuse. Whenever a child says he or she has been abused, it must be taken seriously and immediately evaluated.

Children who have been abused may display:

Children suffering abuse develop a range of maladaptive, anti-social and self-destructive behaviors and thoughts by trying to cope with the abuse - by trying to understand the situation and why the abuse is happening. By coming up with ideas about what they did to cause the abuse and what they can do differently to avoid the abuse, children also develop a range of maladaptive behaviors which can become pathological problems.

In addition to distorting children's thoughts, abuse also forces children into a position of having to "hide the family secret". This prevents children from having real relationships and has life-long effects. And because our ability to form healthy social relationships is learned, abused children are deprived of many skills necessary to navigate the social world. Their entire concept of a relationship is distorted. This leads to problematic relationships in life and even on the job.

Another disturbing aspect of abuse is the experiential restraint it puts on children. If a child fears doing anything new because of the chance that it will lead to a violent attack or because an abusive parent keeps extremely tight control over them, the child will lose his or her sense of curiosity and wonder at the world and will stop trying new things and exercising his or her mind. That child will never achieve his or her intellectual potential.

No one escapes childhood abuse unharmed. "Many abuse survivors are highly competent in their professional and personal lives, compensating for the adverse effects of an abusive childhood until some added stress is introduced, perhaps a physical illness, birth of a child, or the death of a family member." Some children may seem resilient to abuse, some even becoming overachievers but eventually the history of abuse catches up with them. An adult who was abused as a child often has trouble establishing lasting and stable personal relationships. These men and women may have trouble with physical closeness, touching, intimacy, and trust as adults. They are also at higher risk for anxiety, depression, substance abuse, medical illness, and problems at school or work.

Early identification and treatment is important to minimize the long-term consequences of abuse. Qualified mental health professionals should conduct a comprehensive evaluation and provide treatment for children who have been abused. Through treatment, the abused child begins to regain a sense of self-confidence and trust. The family can also be helped to learn new ways of support and communicating with one another.

Victims of childhood abuse seek therapy for a number of reasons, but rarely just because of the history of abuse. Many survivors minimize the effects of the abuse. The goal of undoing life-long damage can be very difficult because the damage pervades every aspect of the client, and because there may be physiological changes to the client that can't just be "counseled" away. Medication can be useful for the symptoms of depression, anxiety and other symptoms, but should never be dispensed in the absence of counseling for the root of the problem. Later the survivor may need to undergo couples or relationship counseling when he or she heals to the point of finding a long-term relationship. For children, play therapy and family therapy can be helpful.

Part II: Child abuse: protection from, prevention of and prosecution for

Part I:  Child abuse: protection from, prevention of and prosecution for