Battling Bullies

February 15, 11:02 AMDallas Parenting ExaminerChristy Coffman

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It’s never easy for a child to admit that he is being bullied. And, it can be just as hard for parents to hear the bad news. “Why my child?” is a question many parents pose once they learn that their child is the target of the schoolyard bully.

The truth is any child can be the victim of a bully, and bullying knows no geographic or economic boundaries. It can happen anywhere – at school, on the bus, at recess, at church or at your club’s swimming pool.

So, who makes a good victim? The answer: any child who stands out from the crowd is a potential victim, say experts. That means children who are smaller or larger than their peers, unusually quiet or bookish, passive, slow, socially immature, etc can be attractive targets. Even children who are new to town, the neighborhood, the class or the team may be singled out by the nearest bully.

Who’s Bullying Who?
It’s clear there is no shortage of potential victims. That helps explain why bullying is so prevalent among the younger generation.

As many as seven percent of 8th graders stay home at least once a month because they fear a bully, according to statistics collected by the Maine Department of Education, and roughly 15 percent of students say they’re involved on a regular basis as either a bully or a victim. In fact, other research reports that many of these children are far more afraid of being threatened or injured by the schoolyard bully than they are of a terrorist attack.

These are scary statistics, especially when you consider the long-term consequences to victims, which can be quite serious.

Victims may grow up to suffer insecurity, low self-esteem and psychological problems. The Internet is littered with websites devoted to helping adults who, as children, were victimized by bullies.

What to Look For
So, how can you tell if your child is being bullied? There are telltale signs, so be sure to ask yourself the following questions:

• Does your child avoid going to school or engage in an activity he previously enjoyed?
• Has your child experienced a change in eating or sleeping patterns?
• Is your child overly sensitive or unusually moody?
• Does your child have unexplained scratches or bruises?
• Does your child frequently lose belongings, or are his belongings frequently damaged?
• Does your child feel the need to bring something to school for protection?
• Is your child isolating himself from activities or friends?

If the answers to the above questions concern you, then it’s time to take action.

Take Action…Now
The first step is to open the lines of communication with your child. Find out the details, who is involved, what action has been taken, etc. Get as much information as possible.

Then, take this information to your child’s school. The third step, say experts, is a follow-up by the school – parents should always know exactly how the bully was disciplined, how their child will be protected and any other details for preventing future incidents.

If your child’s school is uncooperative, or fails to be forthcoming with details, there are still options. Just because an assault occurs at school does not mean that parents can’t take legal action, if necessary.

Finally, make it crystal clear to children that in no way are they to blame for their circumstance.

In other words, nobody deserves to be bullied.

Sidebar
Kids who are confident and know how to master any social situation will always have an edge over any schoolyard bully. Arm your kids with the social and emotional tools they need to defeat bullying in appropriate ways. From enrichment activities to informal counseling, the Dallas area offers plenty of resources for families to ward off a big, bad bully.

Boy Scouts Circle 10 Council
Dallas area
Building boys’ self-esteem for almost 100 years. Managing bullies is now an integrated part of the program.

Center for Social Success
Programs to help kids deal effectively with social challenges like bullying.
Dallas

Dallas Psychiatry Associates
Resources for parents to help understand and deal with issues of bullying, as well as counseling help for families.
Dallas

Girl Scouts of Northeast Texas
Dallas area
Gives girls leadership experience and confidence through service to the community and enrichment.

Park Cities Counseling and Wellness Center
Ongoing self-esteem groups for kids and families.
Dallas
 

By:  Jennifer O'Donnell

Source:  Jennifer O'Donnell, NorthTexasChild