
This story, linked for your convenience, should startle us all. A 9-year-old has been arrested for assalt after hitting his mother with a baseball bat because he disagreed with her new boyfriend. What is more shocking is that this child has previously been under investigation for brandishing a knife while chasing his mother.
These types of stories rightfully make us ask what is wrong with this home situation. We understand it as wrong, and yet too many are not able to articulate what has broken down. Is it that this child is just out of control, and while regrettable, what can society do to help?
As Christians we have been given some really good motivation to raise children in the fear of the Lord.
Deut 6:6 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. 7 Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
Now when it comes to parenting it is considered faux pas to impress one's morality onto someone else. So when we see a misbehaved child, we tolerate it. We remain innocuously quiet to their parents in the fear that criticism will lead to conflict and the loss of a friend. It is ironic then that it is considered "progressive" to reform punishment standards which are acceptable in society. Parents are discouraged from spanking their children out of fear of abusing them or going against "progressive" societal standards. We are pressured to not push our standards onto others, yet we are called to conform to those standards of certain others.
The Proverbs continually encourage taking stronger standards of punishment than our modern society.
Prov 13,24 He who spares the rod hates his son,
but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.Prov 22,15 Folly is bound up in the heart of a child,
but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.Prov 23,13 Do not withhold discipline from a child;
if you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
And perhaps prophetically:
Prov 29,15 The rod of correction imparts wisdom,
but a child left to himself disgraces his mother.
Does any of these verses encourage physical abuse, where the punishment exceeds discipline for the misbehavior? Of course not. Christianity, at its core, proclaims that there is something wrong with this world. Sin and evil are real, and we are under the curse of death. Only those that repent, turn to Christ, and live a Spirit-filled life will be saved.
When it comes to parenting we should not be afraid to remind ourselves and our friends that God calls us to teach our children discipline and consequences for our actions. And it is because we love our children that we discipline them. Where else should our children learn these important lessons than from those who love them the most? And consider this: how confused might they be if they encounter these verses and wonder why their parents did not take the time to teach them responsibility?
It is not my place to say that the family in the news story did not discipline their child, or that they ought have. It is now a manner for the police and social services to work out what is best for the child. It is our own children that we ought to consider.