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With the all-star game slated for Saturday night in Phoenix, I feel that I should be more excited than I am currently. I love a good basketball game. I love fancy new uniforms of red and blue. Lord knows I love offense.
But the NBA all-star game has ceased being entertaining past the first half, at most. It's the same old song and dance now: Some sparklers, some celebrities and somewhere between 275-300 points collectively, accrued easily and without any semblance of resistance.
It's good, to some degree. There's no need, after all, to break an ankle in February. But as a slovenly spectator, I must toss my hat in the "How to make the all-star game more interesting" ring. So listen up, Mr. Stern. You may just learn a thing or two.
First, there's no point in using the entire court. Cut it in half, jumble the picture up a bit and reap the rewards: read more aggressive play. Read, more seats to sell. Read make it take it basketball.
Secondly, NBA players care about a championship, but they care more, in most cases, about money. Give each team a collective $25, 000. No giant checks, either. A large wad of cash on the scorers table would drive the point home far more effectively. Then, give each player $5, 000 for spot-bets. "Two grand I dunk on you," they'd say. "Four thousand says you can't score on me." It would make the game about money, yes, but in a deeper sense, the game would be about pride. There's nothing more shameful than watching your opponent make it rain with bills that were, only 48 minutes ago, yours.
A friendly game of Beirut would be a nice touch as well. Get the best spot shooters in the league and see if their stroke extends to Solo cups and lager soaked ping pong balls. They could play the night before, coinciding with the Slam Dunk Contest and Three-Point Challenge, the table set up at half court. Imagine Peja Stojakovic and Dirk Nowitzki taking on Ray Allen and Michael Redd in 13-cup. Long story short: Ratings city.
If anyone needs me, I'll be sitting by the phone, awaiting a call from David Stern.