Parenting 101: Keeping kids safe from stranger abduction

September 2, 12:59 PMSt. Louis Family & Parenting ExaminerAngela Atkinson

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 Jaycee Dugard. Image Credit: People.com

She was the 11 year old girl abducted from her bus stop right before her stepdad's eyes eighteen years ago. Jaycee Dugard's shocking story made national news last week when she was discovered with her kidnapper, a known pedophile.

While Ms. Dugard's story is an amazing and inspiring one, especially for parents currently searching for their own missing children, it also presents an opportunity for families to put more effective safety practices in place.

What are some steps parents can take to keep their kids out of the hands of child predators like kidnappers and pedophiles?

• Teach kids to stick together. Predators are less likely to attack a group of kids. Instead, they seek kids who are isolated and alone as they're easier targets.
• Communicate with other parents and caregivers. If your child will spend time at a friend's house, babysitter or daycare, don't be afraid to let the responsible adults know what you expect. For example, if your child is too young to play outside without adult supervision, make it clear.
• Keep an updated list of phone numbers for your child's friends and parents. This is good practice especially with older kids who are allowed to leave the house without adults. An updated list will allow you to quickly contact your child or the parents of a friend if needed.
• Buy your child a cell phone with GPS. Not only will you be able to contact (and locate) your child at will, but you'll feel a little safer knowing she can call you when she needs you. And don't worry about the bill--most cell phone companies these days offer an extra line for around ten dollars a month. Plus, parents are given the option to restrict the phone in various ways--from the numbers its' allowed to call to the amount of time that can be spent on the phone.
• Give your child a safe word. This way, if an unexpected school or dance class pick up occurs, the child can ask the adult the "safe word"--and if it's not given, the child would refuse to leave with the adult in question. Be sure to choose a random word that couldn't be easily guessed.
• Teach your kids who are "safe" adults to ask for help if they are accidentally separated from you. In general, include teachers at school, police officers and military members, security guards and even store employees. And, let kids know what type of behavior should put them on alert.
• Don't put kids in jackets or shirts that display their names. Also, write their names on the inside of their backpack or school bag. This way, strangers can't confuse younger kids by "knowing" their names.
• Role-play with your kids. Tell them what to do or say if someone approaches them. For example, some parents have their kids say, "This is not my Mom (or Dad)! Please help me!"

"Often, a kidnapper appeals to victims by asking the child to help find a lost animal," says Charity Guide writer Tania Hagan. "Sometimes, the stranger will ask a child for directions. Occasionally, abductors know the child's name or the names of the child's parents. Perpetrators attempt to use this knowledge to gain the child's trust."

Hagan advises that parents let kids know that if an adult really needs help, they will ask another adult--not a child the adult doesn't know.

"Also, repeat to your children the importance of the family code word," she advises. "If a stranger knows the child's name, but does not mention the code word, that stranger is probably a threat."