Parenting 101: Identifying bullies and their victims

August 14, 10:58 AMSt. Louis Family & Parenting ExaminerAngela Atkinson

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According to research published by the US Department of Health and Human Services, up to 25 percent of kids experience bullying at school.

And, while 70 percent of teachers believe that they are able to stop bullying at school "almost all of the time," only 25 percent of kids agreed that this was true.

The research also revealed that 15 to 20 percent of kids admit to bullying their peers.

What is a School Bully?

Bullying can be physical aggression, like punching, hitting or pushing. It can also take the form of teasing or name-calling, or other verbal forms of harrassment. Some bullies use "emotional" bullying tactics, which seek to intimidate or exclude their victims from group activities.

A New Kind of Bully

With the advent of computers and the internet, some bullies have taken things to a new level--cyberbullying. Now, they can bully your children from the comfort of their own homes.  They may do this by sending messages to your child's cell phone, email or instant messenger.

Passive-aggressive bullies may post inappropriate photos or rude messages about their peers online. Some bullies will even use another person's screen name in order to spread rumors about their victims.

Signs Your Child is Being Bullied

According to Cheli Cerra, M.Ed, parents should take notice if a child's behavior changes. She says the following signs indicate that your child might be getting bullied at school.

1. Your child is withdrawn.  Often you'll notice that your child is irritable or cries more frequently than normal (for your child).

2. Your child doesn't want to go to school and tries hard to avoid school and school events.

Avoidance behaviors are often psychosomatic - these are illnesses that result from emotions and stress - and can include stomachaches, headaches, fatigue and chronic pain.

3. There is a noticeable drop in your child's academic performance.

4. Your child views school as a very unhappy place to be.

5. In extreme cases, your child may display suicidal behaviors.

Cerra says that while suicide IS a rare occurrence in kids under ten, parents should intervene or seek help immediately if certain behaviors suddenly appear. For example, if there is a definite personality change or sudden excessive anger, if your child changes his eating or sleeping habits, becomes involved with alcohol or drugs or begins to neglect his appearance.

Kids considering drastic measures may also begin to give or throw away their posessions, appear constantly bored or tired and reject any praise or reward you offer. Others may develop an obsession or preoccupation with death.

Also read: How to Protect Your Child from Bullying