Keeping your marriage strong

November 25, 10:30 AMSt. Louis Family & Parenting ExaminerAngela Atkinson

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Do you remember why you married your husband or wife? Do you still do "the little things" to show your spouse how much you care? Or has the business of parenting your children and running your household caused you to become more like business partners?

Many parents don't realize the importance of preserving their marriage. This is not only important for you as a couple, but also extremely important for your kids. Children who come from divorced families are statistically less successful in several areas than those whose parents stay together.

So how do you go about keeping your marriage strong, even with the sometimes overwhelming responsibility of having a family? Try these tips.

1. Try the five minute rule. Make it a rule that the two of you spend a minimum of five minutes alone each day. This sounds like very little time, and many wonder what effect it could possbily have on a marriage. However, when you have small children, five minutes can be enough time to catch up with one another. You can spend your time talking, snuggling, kissing, or doing whatever makes you feel good. It's a good way to stay connected.

2. Listen. Really listen. This means that when your spouse talks to you about their day, their concerns, or anything at all, try to give him or her your full attention. If you're in the middle of something that can't wait, say something like, "I'd really love to hear what you've got to say. Give me one moment and you'll have my full attention." This shows your spouse that you respect him or her and care about what they've got to say.

3. Treat your spouse like you treat your friends. It's easy to forget to be kind or polite to your spouse as you work side by side to raise your family. Consider your spouse's feelings in all situations, and do what you can to preserve them. Even if you're not hurting your spouse with your words or actions, you may find yourself skipping basic kindnesses you'd offer to friends or even strangers. Remember that your spouse is the person with whom you've chosen to spend your life. Treat him or her accordingly.

Coming Tomorrow: More tips to keep your marriage strong.